So…there is no spot in the mood list for omgragedisappointmentseriously?weepytiredcannotcommittoanythingsobeyondbored…I chose Other. There is an Issue. And yes…capital I Issue. Now…as some people know…I don't do anything halfway. Which means the last year of my life…I've been in the rat race, gobblin' mice. I think I have to start with September to explain this.

September was when work and school sort of went wild. And by went wild…I mean got so busy I was on a wheel running to keep up. Something starts. Something most girls do not even care about/notice for a month. My period didn't come. If this topic bothers you…I suggest not reading further. At ease.

Now…I don't know about everybody, but if I get a vacation from the crimson tide…I'm thrilled. A whole month where I don't have to deal with that? Groovy. October comes. No period. I know what you're thinking. No. So I'm chocking this up to stress and a complete change in my daily routine (I'm up at 5 am and going to bed at semi-late hours). November…nothing. December…period-free. And that, folks, is when school and work starts to wind down and I take a break.

Well…wouldn't you know…my break brings me pneumonia. Still…better than the period, though I'm starting to worry and I do not want to go to the doctor because really…if my period and I have decided to take separate vacations…it's great. And while I might be worried, I figure it will come when it wants to. And it did. New Year's Day. Yes…what a greeting. Except it's not a normal period. Who expected it to be? I didn't expect quite so weird because it's…on, off, slow, heavy, slow, heavy…and lasts two weeks. Ok…so my body is getting back into whack, right? That's what I thought. By the way…there's way more to this than the period…I just have to get there.

This month I expect a normal period. Yeah. It started on the eighth. Only it was…on…slow…off…then…it returns heavy. It's still currently with me today on the eighteenth. Am I concerned? Not really. I still have residual stress and my sleep schedule is readjusting again. That said…I'm not fond of it. And no…there is nothing amiss really. Except…the last few days I've been exhausted. And when I say exhausted…I mean…the sleep almosttwenty-four hour exhausted. No…it isn't meds or anything like that. Heck…sleeping this way is actually keeping me from taking my evening meds and I'm not doing anything extra. I'm not even watching the television. I have zero energy. When putting together a puzzle sounds like hard work…you know you're tired.

I'm fine with being tired. I loathe my period. Not that it's anything special. No cramps…no…anything. It's just there. And, shall we say…I get a bit moody on my period. This is where things really get…well…to where I was going.

You see, my husband and I maintain separate residences. Usually, this works out just fine. We're together daily for the most part. To be fair…I talked to him for about twenty minutes last night via telephone and then sort of…hung up (not rudely) because I was tired. However…it seems like the last week he's been…distant. I say seems because when I get my period…it's sort of a running joke between us that it's break-up time (because I have a habit of suggesting we go our separate ways when I get my period). I've been really good about that lately…since the experimental film where I had my epiphany. I don't complain about much of anything because…why should I? The guy loves me and I love him. Except…I've noticed…this week…I'm the one doing most of the contacting and he seems very depressed and…yes…distant. I know he's had things to do. I also know he's spending more time playing World of Warcraft than I think any five people ought to. Is that my business? Not really. If he wants to run around in cyberspace as a pandaren…well…at least he's not bored. Yet…where do I fit into this lately?

As far as I know…he hasn't tried to contact me since we talked last night. And I know he knows I'm tired. Except…I don't think he was the one who initiated contact the nights before that, either. Maybe a few days…maybe a week. And it could just be me being moody and strange. I know he's not cheating. I know he's not out spending vast amounts of money. Yet…video game or me? It's like…I could be dead over here and he would be too busy being a pandaren to find out. This irks me slightly. And when I say slightly I mean much more than slightly because…I'm moody. You might ask…so what's the problem if you know what he's doing and things are otherwise fine? The problem is I am starting to feel like I'm captaining this ship alone (which, granted, is how I usually feel if I'm moody on my period). I can't decide whether to contact him or see how long it takes for him to notice I've gone missing. I'm guessing by the time he notices…I'm going to be in more of a mood. Which means I'm going to suggest we break up. Again. And I'm trying not to get that way, but it's like…I think the Warcraft is an issue.

And if you're reading this, Lucy…I hope you have a very good explanation for where you've been. Love, Syd.

Anyway, that's the whole thing and I'm pondering calling him.