Intro:

 

Meet, my nemesis, my anxiety. Shes a total jerk

A full scale riot. With myself. That is what my “anxiety” feels like. I never understood or believed in (anx/depression) until i experienced it myself. I thought it was mental….as in people using their brain to “create” anxiety…..as an excuse.

 

 

 

Now I know that often you don’t contol it, but that it….-attempts- to control you. I am sure that anyone whom has experienced this feeling of being out of control knows that it isn’t made up….because who would want that?!? No one!

 

What I do know is that I will survive. I will conquer myself, and my mind.

 

 

 

So it is simply with this …I assure you there will be awful days, but there will also be times ( minutes days hours) that you will be okay.

 

 

 

Your anxiety or other situation/diagnosis/issue does not define you.

 

 

 

You are not anxiety.

 

Your anxiety is not you

 

 

 

It can only control you if you allow it…

 

So….learn, pray, talk, lean on, and most importantly….

 

Allow yourself grace. You are here. We are worth it. Even when your mind spins…. you are worth it. Every single time. Every single day. Stat strong. Keep fighting. You are not only your own worst enemy. You are your own advocate and support.

 

 

 

Do not self defeat.

 

Anxiety is the foe

 

 

 

It is not you

 

 

 

You are you.

 

 

 

You are Alive today, even if that’s all.

 

You chose to wake up…suck air…and be. and today….you win because of that!!Anxiety fuck off

 

To explain: ( I’m a poet who didn’t know it….thanks anxiety {jerk})

Sometimes it is a second wind

Where it doesn’t belong

 

Making me awake

All about nothing and

Everything….at same time

 

Out of control

Feeling numb and spazzy

At the same time

All utterly….completely

UNWELCOMED!

 

Every time… feelings of

Nothing and something…

Everything and nothing

All at once

 

Mind spins

How to explain what’s inside

Empty…full…no one knows

Not even me

 

Sometimes it’s the details

Overwhelming

Not today.

Just the clouds and haze

 

Choices from past

Changes being made

Will it ever be enough!!?

Why are things as they are?..

 

Scars….thoughts….memories…hopes

All feel fleeting

Unreachable…alone

Isolation overwhelming

 

No one understands

What did I do

Will it be okay?!

Utter panic

That all is ruined ..

 

Dazed, overstimulated, hurting

When will it end?!

I pray and have faith

There’s no control anyway.

 

What’s left of it…I let go

Today….I win

Instead of the enemy succeeding

I find words as an outlet

And am thankful

 

….Back down crippling entity!

Not every time…But this time

I beat you. (And I shall Carry on)

 

My biggest enemy!!

 

 

1 Comment
  1. ailigdrac 4 years ago

    Very inspired and moving.

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    0 kudos

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