Life as complicate as it has always been if you are not strong to face it. Just like me, whenever it comes to relationship or getting to know someone new, I am just not that kind of person am able to handle it.
It all started getting to know this guy from a website. From KL as he is and we seem lovely initially through phone and sort of like that. He would call me every night to chat and it has been like a dream come true. He is positive too by the way, therefore thinking it will be nice to have such a person to live with if it become smooth.
2 1/2 weeks passed by and we met for the first time as my previous blog has mentioned. I am getting nervous about how he feel and kind of eager and desperate I believe. Missing him has been such a feeling that gave me that kind of mild nervous breakdown.
I was assigned to KL for work last week, we decided that I should go early to spend time with him during weekend, accompanying him back to his hometown. The 3 days have been the most memorable days I have ever had. I keep on telling myself, if it does not work out, at least I have those 3 sweet days with him and at least I have had that before. Even though I knew, it was sad after that but guess life is just need to be unfair sometimes.
Came back to KL and I guess he is just busy with his friends in KL while I was in the hotel room thinking I should have gone out with him for dinner to spend more time with him. Sometimes, you just knew that the other person is just not that into you. Needing to get a alarming call, I decided to tell him that we rather just be friend. I know it is just a waste but I don't want to end up being hurt after all. Being HIV Positive is already so sad that if I was to get hurt, I really don't know how to handle it.
Back in Penang, healing my souls and reminiscing those sweet memories.