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Hypersexuality. That's my problem. Here's the thing, I am a virgin. I have never had sex with anyone because I want to wait for someone I am with for awhile. So, my hypersexuality isn't what you think. I'll flirt with anyone, even if I find them ugly, really go at them, and any girl who makes a pass at me I'll go at it. It sucks because I want to stop but it's as if I can't. It makes me feel so ashamed because I am not like that. I am a really nice guy, very respectful of women, but for some reason when I go manic I just become this dirty talking freak. That's my Mr. Hyde of sorts. All I want is to meet a nice girl that I can be in love with and be sweet to. But, it's so hard for me to ever seek it because my OCD tells me I'm horrible and that I'm forever going to be like this and never be able to have a meaningful relationship. I broke off one relationship because of feeling pressure and disgust. Sex isn't important to me, it's not something I even care about. I just want to care about someone. But this gets in my way because it contaminates me and makes me a pervert. It's not like I force anyone, they are always consenting and what not, but it makes me sick. I make myself sick. I only wish it would go away because I hate being like this. This is the most shameful thing about me, I hate it. I am not a bad person, I hate being this way. I'm nice, I'm a gentleman. But for some reason I just can't control this part of me and I hate that. It makes me want to die sometimes. I'm ready to get better. I have been. I want to get better. That is all for now, I feel shameful and weak and completely vulnerable. But, this is what I need to do. Get support.

1 Comment
  1. ancientgeekcrone 9 years ago

    The problem may be that you are intending to stay a virgin until the right one comes along. How will that be possible, since it sounds as though your body wants reality and relief. Do you think it is not possible to fall in love with a young woman who has lost her virginity. You may be on the wrong track. Do you have a guy friend that you trust in these delicate matters to be straight with you on this subject?

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