so, for those of you who don't know, i started using meth last summer, and i've been to a few treatment centers and i've been out since march '13 and i've been telling my family i've been clean but i started using again last month. i got a dirty ua from my outpaitent so i have to restart there. but i finaly am trying to commit my self to stop using, but when i'm not on it i'm very anxious and feel like i can't do anything, when i started using again i started using IV's which is like a whole other addiction for me. I posted this on my facebook today, please if you or know someone whos using, please read this. "i'm fucking over this whole meth scene. i'm tired of having no emotions, having health/emotional problems. i actually tried to quit until my friend relapse came to me. and i started using needles, how fucking dumb am i? using needles just got me into a whole new addiction, and i don't even know how i could live with myself just lying to my friends and family who were there for me. my who perception of life is forever changed, i'm never going to be who i used to be. i wish i could put in to words how sorry i am for the shit i put my family through. i'm done pushing the people who truly care about me away. i just really wanted to get this off my chest. to any one out there who wants to try it, don't do it. you're just going to fuck everything up. you should appreciate what you have now. you don't want to be putting chemicals in your system that some fucking tweak made, and some other tweak putting who knows what in it to make it look like you'll get more. pursue happiness, don't let shitty things get in your way."
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To Be Me or Not To Be Me, A Personal Lesson in Self-Acceptance
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Author’s Note: I originally wrote this piece for a theater show back in Middletown, CT which featured one act...
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I had forgotten…
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I had forgotten how good it feels to cry. I haven't been able to for months now. Even now...
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I held back because I ruin everything
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I did it, finally.
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Well, I haven't logged on or written a blog in over a year. I had found that being here...
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Voyeuristic Grandpa Monitoring My Phone
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Hi, I’ve been dealing with a voyeuristic grandpa who has touched himself to either me or my partner’s and...
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Good tool for anxiety
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When people are very caught up in anxious thoughts, they’re “top-heavy,” so to speak. The constant mental activity...
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my poems
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♥ i decided to use this place to share my poems. i have always found that writing brings me...
yeah i\'m gonna start going to na meetings, and one of the reasons i started doing drugs was because of my anxiety, it\'s a big part of my life.