It's just past 1 am and Friday. I had a good day, except the trash people forget about my house again… you pay out good money, then they don't come… e waaaa…not the first time either… that is the bad news – haha, now for the good stuff!
I have always believed in free will and that our lives were built upon the choices we make. But I dearly love it when someone new challenges my belief system, and makes me think. And today an unexpected person did just that, and I think they have changed my life, so much for the better.
Summer, if you are reading my blog, I hope you are getting this! Here is a little bit about her. When she was just a girl, her parents made sure she was vaccinated like we all had to do back then. But sadly, she got polio anyway. Today she suffers from MS and is living 24/7 in a wheelchair. And do you know what she does? She works tirelessly to help animals in shelters, mostly be posting and sharing on Facebook, and of course, anything she can do at home where she lives, as well. But what she told me that really caught me right between the eyes, was when she said she never thought about herself being strong or having courage, because she never had a choice. She never had a choice. I had asked her how did she keep going through all the pain and all the hardship and still be so calm and so together. And she said she didn't understand the concept of courage so much, because she never had a choice.
So now I am changed also. No more whining and no more making excuses to myself even subconsciously "why" I can't do something, or "how" will I do it, or "if" I can do it, in fact, I will no longer work under the assumption that I have any choice. Because that never worked out too well for me anyhow – haha… Instead, I am going to wake up tomorrow feeling different, much more focused and determined, with those new words ringing in my ears – I do not have a choice. I must get up with purpose. I must face the day with confidence. I must do everything I can to make every dream I have come true. I must work hard to provide for the ones in my care. I must give and give until I simply cannot give anymore, and then I will find a way to still do what must be done. That is the whole ballgame. You "must" DO, what must be done. It is as simple as that. In my case, just like my friend said, "I do not have a choice."
Whenever I see a very horrifying picture of a hurt and abused animal, I will not feel weak, and I will not look away. If they survived the trauma, then at least I can certainly acknowledge their precious souls still trying to live and be happy, and be grateful to all the people who are helping them, and who will help them in the the future! For some animal rescue people, there is no choice. I have learned a great lesson. For some people who have a dream, there is no choice. My dream is to create a beautiful home with room to roam, where people can come to heal, and can have encouragement and time to create, like to paint, or practice instruments, to meditate, to exercise, to cook, to come together at the campfire at night, and sing songs, to find their own true happiness and what they love to do. To rescue and save animals along the way, and to let little children from the big city come out on Saturdays to feed the animals with us, to pet them and hug them and love them. Because it is a great healing thing. So we can show people that we can grow food in plenty, without poisons and even in the desert hell of central Texas in July. There is no choice. You never give up and you never give in. You write down every single idea you have in the same notebook every single time, and you group together tasks in order of priority, and you make a definite plan of action, doing the easiest things first, just so every day you make progress. In my case, I do not have a choice after all. I must survive, and my dream must live on. For some reason God made it possible for me to hang on to this land, and for some reason a friend who was not always a friend, left me a house as well. And I now have two dogs I have helped save from the shelter here, one has a new home in my town here, and the other one lives with me forever, here at the farm. And there is a little white kitten with a black ear and a black tail who started out life without his mother, sleeping on my shoulder as I write this, who must be the cutest creature God ever created on Earth, and he brings me so much joy and love, it is truly bliss in the best possible way to think of it. I know, I am easily amused, and easy to be happy. But I am so blessed tonight, in so many ways, most of all because of friends that tell me the most wonderful insights, stories, and tips for living a better life, expose me to great artists and people of great talent who bring me great joy with their music, all of it, causes me to pause, look up at the stars, and thank God and all the "powers" that be, for giving me the ability to still be here, and to still dream.
Today, I think I grew up. And it wasn't painful in the least bit. I learned that for some people in this world, there were no choices. They were either brave and determined, or they died. Free will is great, and I'm glad we have it, but now I truly believe that the successful people in life do NOT have a choice. They know what needs to be done, and they are not afraid to fight for it as well. They are not weak when confronted with disaster and suffering. They send their kids to Oklahoma to help the tornado victims. They roll themselves in a wheelchair across the street to face animal abusers in order to save the life of a little dog. For them there is no choice. And now, for me as well, I have no choice, and I am not weak anymore. I feel empowered by that epiphany, that change in perspective. I hope that this helps someone else as well. I have to help animals. It is who I am. I have to study health and organic growing because I must in order to survive. It is up to me to make the best of what I have, and I want to share it. By helping others, I have no doubts it will help me to reach my dreams. And I am flexible enough to realize that my dreams are not set in stone and they can change anytime, for the greater good of all involved. Because in this, I have no choice. I must continue on, and I must continue to do my best. And I pray that my sister in the UK reads this one, and that she too, will understand these words, and that maybe they will change her as well, to know that she is vital and very much needed, and that she has no choice in the matter really! She is here now for a reason, and that reason is to pursue her own dreams and help others along the way.
So that's all I got for you guys tonight. I know I ramble on and on at times, but when something finally gets through my thick skull, it is time for celebration! hahaha Good night little busy bees, always please remember to take care of yourself first, respect and love yourself always, so that you can always help someone else or an innocent animal when the call arises. Peace out!