I have a headache, and I’m getting mad. I don’t know what I’m mad at, but I’m mad. Maybe I’m mad at myself. Can I be mad at everyone? I’m frustrated that I can’t do the simple things, and do them right.

I don’t think I have any pain killers. This isn’t going to be fun. I have gone through like a pack of 42 pack of Nurofen since Saturday. I know it’s not healthy but I need them to help with my knee. Sometimes I take them just out of habit. Like I might not be in much pain, but I take them anyways. Not healthy. Good thing about them they aren’t really addictive. Yeah they have codeine in them, but it’s really not enough to get addicted to. My thoughts it’s more of a psychological response. Same way that if I don’t take my anti-depression meds for a day or two, I get upset and moody, when infact they take like over a week to get out of your system completely. I told my therapist about that and she agrees.

There must be something in me that think that the meds are doing something, otherwise I wouldn’t react the way I do when I’m not on them. It’s the same for the pain killers, maybe they aren’t doing anything, and I just THINK they are doing something. The mind is an amazing thing. It plays tricks on me.

I feel so hungry; I really need to get something to eat. I have to get dinner tonight too, I’m only going to do sausages because I really don’t feel like doing much more than that. I’m getting to that point of hunger when my stomach is hurting. I have had a bottle of coke today and that’s it. I don’t have an appetite though. It’s like my stomach is saying I’m hungry, but my head is saying I’m not.

I really need to get a life.

I have a lot of tension in my neck, I can feel it. I don’t like massages, so I’m just trying to stretch it out.