All of a sudden I've been thinking and looking back into my past, the oast 2 years to be exact. I've done so much and achieved so much but I've also lost so much too.

I miss it!!!!!

It ain't fair. My problems, the people, everything just ain't fair!

I've been looking back at old pictures and also went to stoke on trent on tuesday to go shopping. My old university is at stoke on trent 🙁 I really wanted to go and visit although I knew it was a bad idea because of how I left things and people. Everyone there became enemies. One girl turned my whole university experience upside down and ruined it. I quit. Never looked back but at same time I've always missed it. The campus, the course, the work I could do, something I was interested in. I still miss it, the partying with people, hanging out, feeling I have friends and people to talk to. Although that changed. But I miss it, is it wrong to miss something that was bad for me? The people that were bad for me?

I sometimes cry about it :/

I don't just miss university, I obviously still miss my ex boyfriend. ALOT! I do cry about that, but I think I cry inside as I never show it. I've been hiding the tears and not wanting to cry over him. I know it takes time – five years is a long time and then to break up. HURTS SO BAD! Like there's still a massive part of me just missing. I wanted to hold him and cuddle, talk how we used to, lay together in the park, watch the stars, watch films, go for bike rides. Need him here still.

I've also been missing my old workplace. I've been visiting and I miss it. They've offered me to come back and all my friends are trying to get me back there, justfor a few hours as I dont want to quit the job im in now. I miss having a laugh with everyone and not taking the job too seriously. It's the same company … Wetherspoons. But where I am now, they are such prententious wankers, snootybooty bastards, always complain about something or do anything to try get you to lose your job. Customers at this one im in now, are awful. Least in my old job I never got one complaint, EVER! I can have a laugh around once my jobs are done, I can talk to friends, I miss it all. Wanting to go back.

I'm not ready to start a new chapter in life yet, I'm still grasping onto the old one.

I want my old life back. I miss my old life:(

So upsetting.