So, Since the christmas Holidays, I haven't really seen my trainer.

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which, it was the holidays, that was to be expected. but now, she apparently got a promotion (she's still training) but she has more on her plate.

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Long story short, she was wondering if I would like to see a new trainer because she feels that she's not doing her job with me to the full extent.

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Now, she said if it doesn't work out, she'll make it work. But I have mixed feelings because of the following reasons:

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1. she says i'm her favorite, yet instead of moving around with another cilent she just wants to move me to someone else.

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2. she's making it work with other cilents, I've seen her (just yesterday!) working with and seeing them.

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3. She says if it doesn't work out with the another person (we're having a meeting to meet her this week) then she'll make it work, but then i'll feel like A.) i'm burdening her and B.) she doesn't actually WANT to train me.

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I'm i'm stuck and I don't know what to do. I feel like any situation isn't going to win and it's driving my anxiety up a wall.

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I'm sick of being the rebound, the VERY dead-last choice. and I rather not deal with it at all!

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I've given up so many things just so that I don't burden others, I've given up therapy, doctor appointments, training sessions,etc. just out of the fear of being annoyed and a burden.

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and people wonder why I rarely leave my room? It's better to stay locked up. Eve my mere presence is a nuisence to those around me no matter where I am.

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I don't know.

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It'd just be better if I wasn't here…