Okay, so I was watching a video into how to know if you’re transgender or not. And something popped into my head. As a little kid I used to tell people I was a boy and not to call me a “little girl”. And last year I convinced my little sister that I was a boy. (she’s 4 now) The little voice in my head is getting worse. I was talking to a friend and he said that I should tell my therapist. But if I did, then she would tell my aunt. (I don’t live with my parents) And my whole family is homophobic and very transphobic. And then he said “Tell your doctor.” But I can’t because then I would have to give the reason into why I need to go, and even if I made something up, my doctor would tell her. I’m stuck in this position.
Also yesterday during homeroom,I referred myself as a boy. She pointed at me, a girl, and a genderfluid (I don’t know what their pronoun was yesterday) but she said you two ladies and “genderfluid’s name” show us what blah blah blah. I looked behind us because I was confused into who she was talking to. She said my name and told me she was talking about us. I was like (a thought) I’m a boy though, there’s only ONE girl over here. I feel like the only way to know for sure is to talk to someone about (professional) but I really can’t. A lot of people are telling me there’s a high risk that I’m trans, I just need to check in with a doctor. I’ve told a few friends, just to vent and then because  in case I say I’m a boy, they won’t be confused into why I said that. This is really all kinds of confusing and its actually making me angry because I can’t do anything about it..