Well, the announcement of the pregnancy went much better than I expected. Out of about 35 people who commented only 1 was shocked and not overly enthused about it because of how short a time my girlfriend and I have been together. Everyone else was congratulating us and offering support and tips. Her mom was even proud that I finally announced it on my page. Before this it was just on her page and I'd comment on an occasional post or picture she'd upload about the baby. Now that I've done it, I do feel a bit better like a weight has been lifted. I think it probably went a long way to showing my girlfriend how much I actually am embracing this. Combining the weight lifting with talking to a friend on here improved my mood a fair amount today. I even smiled a couple times in the last hour thinking about the possibilities of the future. I know she won't forgive me overnight but if I can hold onto this cautious optimism for a couple months, or at least until her next appointment on the 4th, I just might make it out of this alive :)When we spoke for a very short time on Tuesday she said if it was just about dating it'd be different, but since there's a baby involved it's more than that. Now that I am feeling more optimistic I'm holding onto that statement. We'd be back together now if our situation was different. There's hope, and I'm eager to share in this with her. I'm not saying if she came back tomorrow I'd dive head first into the closest baby store, but I wouldn't fight her on it and walk in on my own.
I'm sure this happiness won't last long, but it's progress! Let's see what today brings after a nights sleep.
Thank you for the comments and suggestions on my previous blog posts. It's nice getting others insightinto what's going on, especially about the whole Asperger thing. I never really looked into it a lot until now since I wasn't given an official diagnosis. Maybe my girlfriend will eventually read these blogs and the comments and get a better understanding of how I react to certain situations and why I react the way I do. I know I am lol. At the request of a previous commenter I have uploaded the most recent ultrasound picture we got on the 7th 🙂
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First, in regards to the negative person there is one in every crowd. Try and not to focus on their opinion.
I believe a baby–kind of like a pet–gives you a fighter's spirit. Your heart will swell (well probably already has) with love, a sense of purpose and so many other emotions. I don't have kids yet but Gracie, and my other pets, bring me so much joy. I imagine a child does that X like 10000000 LoL
In regards to a possible diagnosis, such as Asperger's, Don't let it get you down. It is just a word, don't let something of this nature define who you are (I was given that advice from my parents and really need to listen). Depression is illness–much like diabetes–but people with diabetes, they live normal lives. I suggest Googleing Speven Speilberg(the director). I believe he too has Asberger's. 🙂
Thanks Free. I do use the information people give me to correct mistakes but only once I've realized I've made the mistake. Looking at my past and the situation now I tend to not take advice more than I do because I think I will figure out things are starting to get out of hand in enough time that I can correct them (which usually doesn't work lol). I don't know what advice I should take that would lead to the positive outcome so I don't take much of any until it's too late and I'm scrambling to try to repair the damage I've done. It's a nasty cycle I haven't figured out how to break. It's like building a house without blueprints. Most people I know will take a couple minutes then just run with something and hope it works. If I don't have the plans I get lost, fearful, and second guess myself with everything I do and don't accomplish much. I don't like not knowing what will happen if I do something.