Thankfully I am feeling better today, went to work yesterday and faced the music it might change people's oppinions of me but I can't help that I am not perfect I have flaws and make mistakes and that's normal human behavior we all do it I just need to forgive myself and move on from it all. I have been loaded with a lot of college work now and am hoping I can pull myself together before its all due in. I am stuck between a rock and a hard place of wanting time off to just relax and let go and not wanting time off because the past 2 weeks I did have it I was just sitting at home worrying and benign miserable with anxiety. For the past few days I am waking up with the surge of adrenaline its horrible anyone else get this? I am glad the stomach pains are going away though and I do feel much more calm and relaxed still quite emotional though I would happily sit and cry for hours if I could ( kinda understanding why people call it a potty party as It almost feels like compared to others that I am just sitting around feeling sorry for myself instead of letting go and moving on ) today is a new day and I am hoping it's going to be a good one and the day after moving forward in life is necessary but so is dealing with things and letting go so here's hoping today I can sit and relax, let go, keep positive and move forward so here's to that! I am also wondering if mabey i need to return back to therapy for a little while i don't want to be placed on a waiting list again though so I may need to find my own something I've never done but perhaps it will be helpful for me again although so will spending an hour each day just sorting myself out and figuring out where I am, how I am feeling and where I'm going in life atm. Small steps to make bigger more positive changes 😀 I hope everyone is doing well today (((hugs to all )))))