Hi im finlee/fin,

So i’m only a teen and well i’v already been through a lot with self harm abuse and my mental health. and to understand my past I need to start at when I was 4 years old. so when I was 4 years old I was abused by one of my moms ex boyfriends that we will call asshole 1. so asshole 1 would hang me by my feet and put me in really hot and/or cold baths and hit me and yell at me and I was 4 at the time. and he stayed in my life in moms like for about 2 years. and then one day after he was out of the picture my mom had a new boyfriend. That we will call asshole #2. he was a really nice man that would get things for us kids and do a lot for use. But then after 4 months he started to hit me and my oldest brother and yell at my other 3 siblings. and he would cheat on my mom and one dad my mom found out. And when we all of us kids got home he was gone and then about 2 months later he was back in my moms life and he would verbally abused me and then on day when i was 6 he decided that it was ok to sexually assault me when my mom and all of my siblings were gone. i had not told anyone intel I was 10 years old. when my mom was with her new husband that i started to call dad cuz he was like a dad to me cuz my birth dad did not want anything to do with me. but then when my stepdad seen how I really act he started to yell at me and ground me all the time. He would yell at me for having to wash my hands more then 20 times every day and at that time we did not know I had OCD. And so when everyone would call me names or yell at me cuz I had to do some things that were not normal it made me feel really bad and at that i i was only 11 so I started to burn myself and at first it would only happen 1 or 2 times a month. But after i moved to MI to go live with my birth dad cuz he had said he want to start to have a relationship with me. Thats when I started to burn myself Daley. and after about 2 months after living with my birth dad I had came out as Gay and told him I was not a girl but i did not know what i was he had told me that due to god hates me he can hate me so he started to verbally abusing me and he let my little sister abuse me to so she would hit and yell at me all day and everyday. and when that was happening I was getting bullied at school and kids at my school kept telling me to go unalive myself and so one day i had enough and tried to do so but then I told myself there is alot of people out there that needs me so i did not go throw this the plan. And that same day i tried to tell my birth dad but he looked at me and “said you are lying you are not capable of that” so form that day on I did not tell any one and i just suffered alone. my depression got so bad I started to feel nothing and due to that I start to not only burn I started to cut. And I did it more then once A day. and it got so bad that at one point I started to black out every time i would harm myself. and once when I was 12 I had my first panic attack. I was in the middle of a mall and i started to feel really stressed and like i could not breath and so i ran to the bathroom and sat there for about 2 hours. and so that day on iv had some many panic attacks. and then before i started the 7th grand I moved back with my mom in MN I was still hurting myself but not as much and I was still feeling really bad about myself and thats when i realized that I hated myself. and about the end of the 8th grand I started to have tics and I still have them and people still make fun of me. but Im getting help now  and I was diagnosed with PTSD, OCD, Anxitey, Depression, and some more things my mom knows how i feel she helps me a lot my stepdad still yells at me alot but iv learned how to deal with it. iv been thorw a lot but im not going to let my bad past rowel my life anymore.