My husband and I have been together for 6 years, and we just got married this year. He went to school for Audio Production and got his degree. He has had a really hard time finding a job since his graduation in 2009, and ended up going to the part-time police academy and took hiscivil service exama few years back. During this time we were going through a rough patch. I didn't know if we were going to make it through that time, but we did. Now he has this training and it is something he really enjoys. He did desk security at a "safe" office for the last 2 years, and was just laid off due to budget cuts and the installation of security cameras to cut costs. He was forced to find a new job. This had my stomach in knots because, being withouta job I knew he would take anything that he found, even if it meant giving uphissafety.I was trying to control everything.And I try very hard not to do that, and let him live his life but I love him more than I can explain. He took the first thing that came at him. He regretted it after he took the job, but now he is hired. So he is working security for a very dangerous position from the hours of 7pm-3am. This has been very tough for my OCD, because since he isnt technically a police officer, and is a security officerhe cant carry his gun or any other protection. He only has a flashlight. My husband walks around the most dangerous street, in the most dangerous town in our area with only a flashlight. I lay in bed and cry some nights that he is working because I am so worried. He wants to leave his position and become a police officer. That relieved me in once sense because he will at least be able to carry protection, and right now he has nothing to protect himself. But at the same time, I have always hoped it would never come to that. Honestly I don't know how I'm going to deal with him working such a dangerous job. My OCD escalates when I think about it. My compulsions take over me. I know this is wrong, but I also met him when he was an audio engineer, and saw him having a safe future. More selfishly, saw me not having to worry about him. :/ I want him to be happy. I need help getting my OCD out of the way so that I can let him be happy. I was up all night last night. If anyone has any advice I am open to it. Thank you all so much.
-C