Why do we give– whether it be gifts to family and friends, or some food for a stranger, or money to a charity?  i’m sure different individuals have their own reasoning.  Should we also expect “something” in return when we do share what we have with others?  i really don’t understand why some people feel they are supposed to get something, every time they do a good deed for someone else.  Sadly, though, i’m learning more every day, about just how greedy people have become.  i dunno.  Maybe it’s always been there, and i was just not trained to be so?  Or, maybe i chose to be ignorant of the fact that this is yet another aspect of humanity that will always linger until the end of time?  Either way, i can’t say that i want to acknowledge the fact that it exists.  My perception of giving is simple, i believe:  doesn’t matter why or to whom, as long as it comes from a good place (one’s heart) and nothing is expected in return.  i feel the appropriation of ‘gifts’—that are not simply gifts, but more of an expected chore one has to endure, whether it be due to the political correctness of the act or simply due to expectations—is a true misconception and twists the actual enjoyment of sharing gifts with others.  Personally, the satisfaction and enjoyment seen on the recipient’s face is all the ‘gift’ i need.  Am i alone in this philosophy?  i hope not….  If that’s the case, then i don’t want to be a part of this world any longer.  

This subject has been on my mind/heart for the last couple of days, now…   As i was wrapping gifts for my husband’s relatives, the other evening, and asking him details for colors or designs this one or that one might prefer, since i had the items laid out on the bed for him to choose from, his words struck me like a sword.  “You shouldn’t give them gifts if you don’t expect anything in return.”  WTF?  i just looked at him….i couldn’t say anything, as i was trying to process the fact that he’d said it, and i hadn’t misheard.  i guess, in a lot of ways, i really am learning more and more, on a daily basis.  *sigh  i’m not writing this to complain or bash my husband–this is never my intent.  i really want to understand this train of thought–at least enough so i can look past it and not be soooooo bothered by it.  i know people, for the most part, are actually greedy.  We all have some form of it, i’d suppose, whether it be monetary materialistic greed, or a sense of gluttony to be loved, or something else.  i just can’t expect other people to see and do what i feel is fairly appropriate, but i wish there were more proof that i’m not some gullible sap always getting used for whatever people around me want, at the time.  

OK….enough ranting for the moment.  i just had to vent a bit about something that is truly near and dear to my heart.

  1. Author
    delane 6 years ago

    i couldn’t agree more….thank you!

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  2. ruthenselle 6 years ago

    I’m a tad late, but… I’ll give a shot at understanding that form of thinking. Trading and gift-giving seems to easily blend in–it’s more of paying a debt you owe, generally something to actually prove that; an item they can hold. One other thing that could be associated with getting something back is surviving. Not [usually] to the extreme point of living in the forest and hunting there, but in general, people want to provide their families with the best tools and way of living as possible. Right now, for many people, it’s more about acquiring useful materials to physically put to work than the most grateful smile or hug one can get, I suppose.
    When I give a gift, I hope that they at least acknowledge that I really took time to worry over and put effort into it (sometimes a bit too much, if I get carried away, heh). Receiving gifts, I tend to focus on the thought behind it, and am disappointed and sigh if there’s none. A slight downside- but you know what, I’ll just keep doing what I’m doing, since it’s a good way for me to be acknowledged for my work whilst trying to help other people.

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  3. ucfdarkknight 5 years ago

    I like giving and seeing the reaction of the person, too. Not everyone expects something in return. I do agree that as human beings we do have some sort of greedy side.

    It’s kind of funny because you wrote this on December 23rd. It’s almost October so December is honestly just around the corner. I hope you will be well this upcoming holiday season.

    I miss you and our contact. You’ve been my only consistent support on this site

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