I started writing about my OCD on my personal blog. This is my part 1.
I have part 2 and 3 up on my blog at www.dontlikeonions.com, but I wanted to share this first post here. It's nice to be in a community with like-minded individuals.
My life with OCD part One:
Most people, unless I told you, would never even know that I have OCD. That’s because although I do have some rituals that I do, that’s not my main thing. A lot of my stuff is mental. I'm a thinker. The people in my life that are close to me know my little quirks, they have to deal with them, but most people would never even guess. The thing is, I feel the need to have control over certain things. I don’t like it and don’t do well when these things change. Well, with some things I will do well in the moment, but later on it’s not good. Early on going to see a counselor we learned quickly that my biggest issues and anxieties center around things I have no control over. My biggest anxieties have been, and are still currently, death, people being mad at me (not everyone, mostly just the peeps in my inner circle), getting into a car wreck, and now that I’ve had children, something bad happening to them. Over the years, some things have gotten better just to have another issue manifest, but the issues I mentioned above always seem to be a constant. In my everyday life, I like a routine, if I have plans I want them to stay as they are. I am a homebody most of the time these days and it’s just how it is. I do not like being late at all and although I have gotten better about it since having kids, I just don’t like it. If I have a timeline in my head I want it to stay that way. I have gotten really upset with family and friends for either making me late or being late.Having OCD is different for every person. Some people have very noticeable things that they do and others do not. I could spend all day detailing what I do and have done in the past, but nobody has time for that. I will say that I do enjoy having a clean home, but it’s the least of my personal worries associated with my OCD. I don’t wash my hands multiple times a day, it’s not something that bothers me. I do get so caught up in my own thoughts that I sometimes struggle to accomplish things. I do check my hair straightener multiple times before leaving the house. I have driven home before because I wasn’t sure if I turned it off and unplugged it. I try really hard to just relax and let things happen and just go with flow… it just doesn’t always work out that way. I strive to be normal or at least appear to be. Some days, months, and/or weeks are awesome and I seem to be managing well. That’s normally when I get thebrilliantidea to stop taking my meds, and that is never good!It’s been a struggle with starting to write about it. It’s not something I talk about all the time, and I don’t want people thinking the wrong things about it or me, but it’s almost therapeutic. I just put it out there and there it is. I hope that someone out there is learning something from me. I’m just a girl, living in this world, trying to figure out this thing called life… and I happen to have OCD.Stay tuned forPart two: How did this OCD thing happen?
