I\'ve decided to blog more often. I find that when I write out my pent up feelings, I am relieved. This blog is not like any other regular blog of mine. I can write everything I want, my anxieties, my sadness, my frustrations here without anyone questioning me about anything. So yar, this shall become my personal blog!
My anxieties acted up yesterday when I was having lunch with friends and today when I was having a test.I don\'t know why, I just couldn\'t eat in public. Sucks man. Those stupid panicky feeling will creep up on me and consume me. I lied to my friends saying that I don\'t have the appetite to eat cause they never would understand how I feel. Sometimes, I thought of telling them my condition, but I just can\'t get the words out of my mouth. I guess I fear that they will change their perceptions of me and think I\'m weird?
I dislike people calling me weird. Different, yes. Weird? Definitely no! I don\'t think I\'m weird. I think I\'m just faced with some difficulties that I have to find ways to resolve. To me, weird is an extremely impolite word to use it on someone. I often hear friends saying so-and-so is weird and I\'ll get so irritated by them. I mean, how can people be so mean and unfriendly to their own kind? I\'m trying to stay my life away from gossiping. But at times, I admit it\'s hard. I get swirled in by all those nonsense talks and after that, I start to get guilty about what I\'ve said. But I realized if you stay away from gossiping, people gradually don\'t wanna talk to you anymore. Guess there\'s two sides to everything. However, I\'ll try to stay true to myself even if it means loneliness. I actually don\'t mind being lonely, so I guess it\'s ok.
I\'m going to have a group presentation tomorrow. Hope it turns out fine.