I don’t really think anyone on here is going to answer me. But I have to talk about things because no one around me understands what I feel.
Ok so I can’t say I love you to people I love. I don’t know why I’ve never been able to, I only know that it really messes up my head. Nothing caused me not being able to say I love you. That’s the part of this that messes with me. I don’t know why, I’ve had so much crap happen to me in 14 years but I couldn’t say I love you before these things or after. I’ve said it a couple times before to a couple people and meant it. But its so hard for me, and especially when I cant say it. It kills me, I can tell that I hurt people when I don’t say it. But I do love them I just don’t know how to tell them and I cant even if I did. My parents get so hurt my, dad says I love you in almost every text he sends me just hoping for me to say it back. I makes me so sad to think about him thinking I don’t love him, I love him more than anything or anyone on this earth. Sometimes I wish my parents just knew how much I love them but they would never understand and judge me, or become such parents and want to put me in therapy or something. And this weird problem I have makes me really self conscious like who has this problem, and who will deal with it once I tell them. My friends don’t understand I don’t blame them, I cant blame people for not understanding, because it don’t understand. This is only the main things I could think of for this but there’s so many story’s and breakdown’s I wish I could forget.
Hi bagel6410, welcome to the tribe. I too find it uncomfortable to say I love you to those I love. I remember a point in time when it was really hard for me to say since it had come as such an unexpected surprise. As the phone call was about to end, the person just came out and said love you and I was so caught off guard and rendered speechless that I just hung up. I have more instances of similar situations like this one that I’d be more than open to share if you want to talk some more.
I had that same problem. My emotions, weather good or bad, make me feel uncomfortable. Especially displays of affection towards me. That’s why I’ve never said I love you to the people I love most, because I think somehow they’ll think less of me…or I’m just scared of the reaction, even though I know they love me too. It does make me feel guilty that I don’t say I love you to my mom (Only one time when she was out of it from a mental breakdown and doesn’t remember) because of course I love her. I think she knows that, I’m her child and we’re very close. Saying I love you is such a vulnerable thing to do, so don’t be too hard on yourself.
bagel6410, i’ve delt and still am dealing with depression, anxiety, and sucidal thoughts. i would like to you and maby we could talk about it together, i dont know if you will be comfortable talking to a stranger, but i would like to maby get to know you and you could perhaps feel better knowing that there’s someone else . i hope you start to feel better soon, and i’m not saying this for just you i would also lke to talk to some one else about my stuff. well, i just hope you fell better soon. keep going!!