My self harm story…

the first time i self harmed was in 6th grade (im now in 8th). I wasnt really sure what it was or what depression was or what i was feeling, i was highly confused with my self and who i was and how i should act. i also didnt have very good friends that were there for me and was going through stuff the way i was. i was forced to grow up very fast im 13 and have done stuff that most 13 yr olds havent done but at the time is was 11 or 12. i remeber that a few days prior i was crying and accidentally scraped my arm and instantly felt better. there was this one girl that told me to kill my self and then i started following accounts on instagram that talked about cutting and drinking and just ways to self harm. so one day i found a razor and i made a cut on my leg and then a few on my wrist nothing deep at all just looked like i was playing with a cat or something. soon after in 7th grade  it started to turn into a habit almost everyday i was cuttingand soon the cuts got deeper. my wrist was covered my leg was covered i still have the scars. in 7th grade around january i went into a partial program outpatient so i went around 7in the morning till 3 and then went home. i had gotten kicked out and then i cut more. and then i stopped for a little bit. not even because things got better more because i couldnt bring my self too. in october of 2017 i went into an in patient because i started cutting again i stayed for 7 days and then went home and i hadnt cut again until this month. im struggling still but its okayy. im going to get better who ever reading this if u are struggling just know im here for uu. i wanted to put this out here as a hope for people that are truggling because ur not alone.