Started work, finally after 3 yrs, but i constantly worry that i\’m gonna get sacked 🙁 . Hadn\’t worked for 3 yrs because of arthritis. And although i do my best it is extremely painful. I am constantly worrying that, because i am slow and sore, i\’m going to get in trouble. I have always worked since i was 16, and to get arthritis and technically become disabled is more that my brain can handle. I live in the country so jobs are hard to come by and living on welfare doesn\’t pay for much. I try so hard to make it through but, sometimes, i hit a wall and just can\’t go any further. I don\’t identify as disabled, so it is hard to justify how slow i am. My employer has been very accommodating, but it doesn\’t make me feel any better 🙁 . Work is my only get out of home thing atm. So to lose it would be devastating, both financially and mentally. I just want it to get easier…. I just want to feel useful again. I\’m sick of my body not allowing me to do things that i used to be able to do. I have never felt so isolated and alone as i do now. I mean, shit, I\’ve been tough for years. I deal with my anxiety and my depression. It is what it is. Getting older sucks, but i\’m not 65 i\’m 43. I should be able to have a job and do it properly. I shouldn\’t be stressing out because i\’m not even sure if my body will hold out 🙁. I have had depression and anxiety since i was 12. Wasn’t medicated till i was 24. When i was diagnosed with post natal depression. Which was a crock but whatever they gave me drugs and all was good :D. I meditate when i can, i take the nasty drugs they give me to relieve my arthritis, i go out to work, to pay my bills and to help my self esteem. My self esteem, however, is kinda stuffed up because i physically just can’t do it. No matter how hard i try :(.
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My past in a nut shell (new member)
jesshop534, , Addiction, Anxiety, Depression, Marriage & Family, Anxiety, Child, Depression, Domestic Abuse, Medication, PTSD, Relationships, Sex Therapy, Sleep Disorders, Stress, 0
So , this will probably be all over the place due to my bi-polar mind, so try to bear...
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I Hate FRIDAYS!
snow, , Depression, Anxiety, Child, OCD, 0
ok so its just another day! but to me friday is the worse day of the week – Mike...
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Strange Dream…
mentalhell, , Depression, Anger, Anxiety, Relationships, Therapist, 0
I always have nightmares when I fall asleep and weird images when I close my eyes… but this was...
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Why get a rise out of someone on purpose?
pinkobsession, , Depression, Career, Child, Depression, Questions, 0
Why do people say things just to get a rise out of you. They know you are depressed. So...
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A Momentary Reversal of Stability
thebadkitty, , Depression, Addiction, 0
Feeling weary, right now… things are peaceful with Charlie. No more certain, but at least I got some confirmation...
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Why Is It That I Get Treated Like Crap?
DarkHollywood, , Depression, Sleep Disorders, 0
Today my niece stayed home because she wasn’t feeling well. I made her some cereal and let her get...
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No Progress
Ghostgirl, , Depression, Anger, Career, Domestic Abuse, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, 0
The quality of my summer "vacation" has declined. What started out as somewhat fun has become one big cluster....
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Worst experience
passionfruit3, , Depression, 1
this is about an experience that happened to me in the hospital Im in the hospital haven't eaten for...