So i'm not losing weight on this diet, 5 lbs and then nothing which means for however healthy it is it was just water weight. So i'm depressed. My mom says well what were you doing last summer when you lost all that weight (16lbs) and I didnt answer and she was liek just excersising and stuff… so maybe you just need to excersise.
What she doesnt know, what I want to scream at her, is last summer actually last febuary was when my anorexia really kicked itself into gear so basically last summer i was over excersising and under feeding myself. apparently thats the only way i'll lose weight, its been almost 6 months sinceive been working at kicking the anorexia. and ive really conquered it for the most part, its still there probably always will be.
I don't want to let myself get back into that mindset but i can feel all my wilpower slipping away. I remember how much it sucked how terrible it is for me but i also remember watching the numbers on the scale drop and feeling satisfied. there are goods and bads to it in my mind and now my mom is saying whatever it was was workign for me. I know just excersise wont be enough if I want it to work, to drop the weight like last summer i'll have to limit myself to 500 calories.
Its like nothing works for me but that ive tried every diet every healthy living reccomendation for months at a time and none of them work even when i stick with them. I dont want 20lbs to just fall off me in a month but i would like to see steady weightloss and there is apparently nothing out there that will work for me other than just letting my anorexia consume me.