I don’t exactly know what to write here, so ill just start with why I joined. I have a great family. Two little sisters that I love to death, a mom that’s supportive, and great grandparents. I shouldn’t complain, its selfish that I do. My dad had issues. He didn’t have the best childhood from what my mother has told me. He got into drugs and wasn’t there for most of my life. I don’t remember my childhood. He cheated on my mom when I was small so they broke up. I knew from when I was very young he did bad things. He would sometimes steal some movies or toys and give it to his girlfriends kids(the girl he cheated on my mom with) as I grew up I barely saw him. When I did see him it was always with others, he never spent one on one time with me. When I was ten I moved to Texas, I barely got phone calls at all. We skyped sometimes but he would talk to me for about 5 minutes then make me talk to his girlfriend and my half-brother. About three years ago, I broke, started yelling at him through text. Telling him how much of a crappy father he was, how much he hurt me. Then, I said ” if u would be a better father then I wouldn’t have fought with you” his response was if u were a better daughter then I would be a better father. We stopped talking for a while till December that year when he pretended it never happened. A week before April, my mom woke me up saying my father was in the hospital in ICU. We flew to Boston and saw him in the hospital. He had iv’s everywhere, a tube down his throat, and a breathing mask. I made up with him that day. He apologized for being a crappy dad and I knew he meant it. We were told he was gonna be ok. I had talked to him on the phone right before his surgery. He said that he would call me after his surgery and that he loved me. On April 1st 2015 he was pronounced brain dead. I lost my dad that day. Come to find out he was doing much worse drugs than anyone thought. Im now very depressed and have anxiety that everyone I love will leave me.

1 Comment
  1. delane1 3 years ago

    kkd02, i’m so sorry for your loss. ***hugs***
    i really wish there was something i could say that could help with your pain and grief, but for now, all i’ve got is a couple of shoulders, if/when you ever need/want to use’em. i lost my daughter last Feb 15, because of drugs, and i can understand some of what you’re having to deal with. i know it’s not the same, but just know you’re not alone.
    Keep writing if it helps you!

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