I never blog but I have something weighing so heavily on me right now I thought I might try and write it out and possible get some feedback on it. I have three siblings, two older, one younger. My sister is handicapped from birth with CP. My older brother suffered a head injury 22 years ago and I will be taking care of him for the rest of his life, or mine. My youngest brother is a pathological liar and we\'ve all know this for a very long time. I try to keep my relationship with him to a minimum and its fairly easy since he live far from me. Our parents have both died of cancer and I had begged all of them during their illnesses to help out, i.e. calling, sending cards, visits, anything. Well that didn\'t happen. I took care of them both, at least when my mom went I had my dad but when my dad died I had friends and that was it. I told all of them that I would pay for them to come, they declined. Of course when they died they were there with their hands out and then I was offered help. Well my lying brother calls me yesterday and leaves a message on my answering machine telling me to call him because he need to talk to me about some cancer that he has going on. I tired calling him all day and texting him without a word. I ended up calling his son and he got ahold of him last night. He told him that he had a little spot of skn cancer and wanted to warn me of the harmful effects of the sun. My nephew who is 22 told his dad that its not such a great idea to leave a message like that on someones answering machine and my brother told him he thought it was hilarious that I was worried and upset. This isn\'t the first time that he \'s told me he has cancer. About ten years ago he told me that he had cancer of the eye and was going to have to have his eye removed. I can\'t even tell you how many horrible things he told me that all ended up being complete lies. I am pondering the idea of telling him that I never want to talk to him again. Even if he ends up getting cancer, I don\'t want to know. I\'m not sure its the "right" thing to do but I can\'t continue to let him do this to me. I was a total basket case yesterday and it dredged up so many horrible memories for me. I can find something good about anyone I ever meet but for the life of me there isn\'t one good thing I can say about him. He\'s rotten but I also feel like well, this is my brother. I just don\'t know.

1 Comment
  1. bwhiteside 12 years ago

    Sounds like you are the caretaker in your family and take on responsibility for everyone else (thier welfare, feelings, etc.). That\'s what individuals like us with anxiety do so often and end up neglecting ourselves. I think your brother knows this and now that he has had a health scare he runs to you for support and encouragement.
    I know this is tough but your brother needs to understand thier are limits since he has taken advantage of you and your feelings. If you feel for your own sanity that you need to cut contact with him then do so. I know you may feel guilty about it (that\'s our anxiety again)but it sounds like you have enough deal with caring for your other siblings.
    I\'m very sorry about your parents, I lost a wonderful father to cancer and I miss him every day. Please know you are not alone and above all take care of yourself first then you can be there for your loved ones.

    0 kudos

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