As a Wiccan, I celebrate the New Moon. It is different from the “New Moon” of the astrologists, which Pagans call the Dark Moon. The New Moon for this month occurred two days ago, on the 21st. I couldn’t celebrate it then, because it was a Sunday and I’m in the broom closet. I celebrated it the day after, while my husband was at work. There are quite a lot of activities to be done for the New Moon- clear out all old candle stubs from the previous lunar cycle’s spells (I keep most of them), cleansing altar tools, smoke-cleansing my crystals, burning bay leaf wishes, and performing a white sage New Moon Four Directions releasing ritual. Is there something I’ve forgotten? Maybe.

Anyway, I was formerly a Christian, and I keep some of that with me. My Sky Father is Yahweh, I still call upon Jesus and his Mother Mary, though my Earth Mother is Gaia. It’s complicated. I also honor Ganesha and Lakshmi. As much as I get out of my Wiccan practice, it’s tough being in the broom closet. My husband is nominally a Christian (though he doesn’t really practice it), and he’s definitely anti-witchcraft. He found one of my colored candles and accused me of witchcraft. I of course denied it, what could I say?

So I have learned to work magick in secret, sometimes even in plain sight. Brewing teas, using herbs, lighting candles and incense, can all seem innocuous, but to me it has a spiritual meaning. Even washing my hands, I can enact a Rain Spell. Massaging rosemary oil into my scalp becomes a Hair Growth ritual. Diffusing certain essential oils has meaning as well. I work with the energies of the Earth and Moon, as well as the astrological energy of the Moon’s signs. Right now, the Moon is in Cancer, a Water sign. I burned “Water” incenses such as jasmine, rose, and sandalwood.

I miss my colored candles, especially the black and green ones. I used them the most. Black is for banishing, releasing, getting rid of negativity, and for protection. Green is for luck, abundance, prosperity, money, and growth. I also enjoyed using pink candles for love and gratitude. But ever since my green candle rolled out of my cabinet and landed in front of my husband on the table, I’ve had to use only white candles. Technically that’s ok, because white candles can be used for any purpose. But it lacks the spiritual oomph of the colored candles.

What does all this have to do with my depression and anxiety? Well, I have anti-anxiety spells which include lavender and valerian tea, inner peace spells filled with white light, and a spell to Encourage Positivity. My Wiccan practice has greatly reduced my anxiety. The depression is harder to crack, but there is some improvement. I just believe that practicing a religion, any religion, is essential to one’s well-being. No offense, atheists. There is a group online called Spiritual Atheists, and they seem to have an awe and reverence for the natural world and a feeling of oneness with all life, which I think is nice.

My husband’s prayers got me through the day today. I have schizophrenia and I often get psychosis. I started to have a psychotic episode, during which I don’t have the wherewithal to cast a spell, and I asked for his prayers by text. The bad feelings soon disspated. Never underestimate the power of prayer, no matter Whom you pray to.

With harm to none, Blessed Be.

 

 

3 Comments
  1. iris-dar 10 months ago

    Hello Antheia, My mother was a Wiccan, she had the books and I inherited them, so now they are in my bookcase…
    ~♥~
    I distinctly remember “Drawing Down The Moon” by Margot Adler. I like how she introduces the idea that beliefs don’t need to be based on only one belief system. Polytheism. Nature Worship, Indigenous systems…. “Divine Ducks?” go for it! Just don’t try to convince me to join, okay?
    ~♥~
    I am trying to work my way through “Religion and Nothingness” by Keiji Nishitani. But these are complex and heavy thoughts, it takes my brain some time to understand…. I might be in the middle of the garden, hands covered in dirt and an epiphany hits me, I suddenly understand the lesson from two days ago. The subconscious mind at work, awesome! 🙂
    ~♥~
    It is an endless complexity, trying to understand how an individuals personal beliefs can be formed and changed through the passing of time. Wicca is the answer I have been searching for, or at least it feels this way.
    ~♥~
    Often time seems to hover, not passing, not missing, but not here where I find my mind to be. I feel like I am floating in Limbo. My inner being has “Stalled”; It struggles to exist inside my flawed and often confused mind. But I am endlessly tinkering, trying to learn, to get it to work “just a little better”…
    ~♥~
    It is so difficult to remain objective when we attribute human thoughts and motivation to beings outside of ourselves…. * My mind is off somewhere, I am feeling like I should go out and find it.
    ~♥~
    I was raised to understand that any Spiritual system can feel “True” to each person. Which is why tension and conflict can so easily rise between people with different ancestors. To over simplify, it all comes down to belief:
    ~♥~
    If you believe it is true, then over time, it becomes the truth for you. 🙂
    ~♥~
    I also pay attention to the movement of celestial beings, phases of the Moon, planets and star systems.. The timing of my days of worship are based on Astronomy, not on man’s invention of the calendar.
    ~♥~
    Quiet meditation is a comfort. But contemplation of myself, any introspection, always makes me uncomfortable… How could a divine being make the mistake of putting this feminine mind in a masculine body? Even if it is in what some might call a “scrawny” or beanpole body, I feel feminine in my mind. In there my name is Iris and my body has hips, a bum and breasts perch on my chest. My “Transness” is completely internal. It has few and rare chances to be physically viewed. A history of violence has ingrained my tendency toward isolation. I think I prefer to be alone, because it is easier. Out in “Real Life” is where the abusers lurk.
    ~♥~
    My mind is off again, wandering somewhere…. So I am sending you some Peace, a Hug, a Smile, Hope and Prayers. (to the goddess) – Iris

    * This is why I love Bob the dog so much, he has found his inner peace… even with the drool. 🙂

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  2. iris-dar 10 months ago

    Sorry for rambling on so much! – Iris

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    • Author
      antheia 10 months ago

      Iris-dar I think you are eloquent and your comments are welcome. I am not trans but I have struggled with my femininity for many years. I want to be feminine, as I appear, but there were all these roadblocks… at the age of 3 I had a brain tumor and my head had to be shaved for the surgery. Upon returning to preschool I was teased for looking like a boy, when I knew in my heart I was a girl. That insecurity has stayed with me. I refuse to have short hair again like that. I’m sorry you’ve suffered abuse. The world can be a very scary place. I am here for you.
      Love, Antheia Rose

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