NKTOB – New Kid on the Blog 

This is my first time here.  I discovered the site about 10 minutes ago.  (9 a.a EDT 12-31)

I'm a natural born addict.  I've had problens with food, sex, marijuana, crack, money, and not so much, but alchol belongs on the list. I've often thought I'm addicted to the hit. I care not from where it comes.  It could be any of the above, or someting else.  Once I start the use, I can't stop the abuse…without help.

I was beaten and left for dead in a crack house 2+ years ago.  But, by God's grace, mercy, and favor…here I am, set to enter 2008.  The last 2 years have been CLEAN, full of growrth, and learning what the 12-Step recovery programs posit … i'ts a spiritual solution. I am not a religious person, but I have come to believe and my experience has been,  God has taken away my obsession and compulsion if I seek help DAILY.  This is not a hit or miss propostion for this addict.  Pg 84 in the AA Big Book promises I am given a daily repreive, (from addiction) contingent upon the maitainence of my Spiritual Condition.

After being in an out of programs 15 years, with some sustained perionds of clean time, I found my self relapsing again.  I concluded I am a chronic relapser.  So, once I was equipped with the awareness, I had to figure out how to stop.  So, in 2006 I went to over 600 meetings. I knew I could not figure this out on my own.  I kept hearing two themes:

1) Addicts fear commitment and don't take responsibility.