just another day that seems hard, it's friday and I normally love fridays but since being pregnant it just another shit day, also it the day my 2 oldest girls go to their farthers (we split 5yrs ago) and now i have shared custody of them so he gets them a week and same for me hate fridays leave me sad and stressed coz i don't have control over what is happening to my girls when with their farther he is a shit arse excuse for a dad but nothing i can do about it so this my main reason for my depression as he took off with them when we split and i didn't see them for 8 months long time for a child and parent not to seee each other!!!! anyway just another complicated part of my life that keeps me at a level of stressed and grumpy it tears me apart to be honest. My partner is going away for the weekend and i couldn't care less that i be at home alone with our 3yr old alone i much prefer my own company anyway but i know it not good for me as i am an extreme over thinker and causes me to spiral down. I think my partner cheated on me awhile ago He swears he din't but i get this feeling he did and he has text messages on his phone to another girl that suggest he wants to do something with ths chick. I don't trust easy due to numerous things previous to this relationship so many issues going on in my head it hurts alot of days and comes out in my mood swings and they can be extreme, wish i had a medication that actually worked I hate taking the stuff but the only thing that keeps me on an even keel!!!! sun is shining and that makes me happy but not really happy wish all these feeling would go away I wanna drink till i can't drink no more

1 Comment
  1. mybeing 8 years ago

    ok lady, are you sure about the cheating? reason i am asking is cause you are a over thinker like me. I have screwed myself soo much with that. i turn lots of things into well, the worst case kinda thing. you know that saying, its not what it looks like? BUT if you have proof then thats entirely different. I am sorry you feel like crap!  are you taking meds or no by choice because your pregnant? i know there are alot that you cant take because of that reason.and that makes it very hard on you. I have a friend that went throught the same thing. She is bi polar.and it has taken me years to find the right one. hope that this one is THE ONE!!

    trust is very hard for you ya well when your given reason to not trust and they are life altering then no shit!! that is something that is very hard to change. been there and still am.learning, but hard.do you have anyone that you can vent on or to? you should find one if not. ok, not helping or anything, just wanted to say hey, understand some of your feelings, not all as i dont have the same situations as you. 

    keep your head up and try and enjoy the time you have when you have not soo much on your plate.you said the sun was shining, that is a little thing to keep in your head and just keep looking the sunshine and the warmth it brings you.

    stay healthy. 

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