Were to begin this story? I have a lot to say so let me start at a point that I remember feeling a loss of control that was new to me. I used to smoke pot daily. When I got older it began to be a nightly thing to help me relax after work. I moved away and the only marijuana to be found was very poor quality and also a lot more expensive than what I was used to. I began to feel the need of more. More of a buzz to feel sleepy.. Normal.. So alcohol started its way in my life. A beer or two mixed with my night seemed to help. It soon became a few shots mixed with smoking. Not even knowing where things went bad I was mixing a half pint with the highest alcohol content beer I could find.. And still smoking. Forced move due to family emergency put me back to the area with the marijuana I was good with. Well it was not enough for me at all anymore. With all of this confusion around me I applied for a job to where I couldn't smoke at all anymore. I needed the job. Within 2 months I was drinking a 5th every night and waking to a half pint to stop shaking. Now I'm lost. Lost myself and now starting to loose friends and family. I was a mess. In all this I had a wife and 2 beautiful daughters who loved me. I now have a very loving and supporting girlfriend and trying to win back trust and respect of my daughters. All I have time for right now but this is just the tip of iceberg. A very long story short with the lack of a few addictions that i purposely left out for now. If you read this thank you for listening and I will complete said story. Probably over the course of 10 or so more blogs. Yes I am an addict. But proud to bring my demons to light. For I believe is a lot easier for them to live in the dark parts of heart , brain and soul. Bring them to light and watch them vanish .