By Charlie G 

Stopped by a cop, my speed 97;

He said, “Boy, you in a hurry to get into Heaven?” 

I replied, “Actually I am in a bit of a rush;

But I doubt that I'll ever see God's burning brush.” 

Look, I know there's a God, why else do I fear?

And wipe away tears, as I drink from my beer? 

I've been locked in a room called addiction, in the hotel of life;

After evicting God & my family; now I’m rooming with strife. 

Always crying and shouting, with chaos and self-pity;

Coming from inside of my head; my own little city. 

I've peered out the window, seen people passing below;

Striding with a purpose; and having somewhere to go.  

People who've been knocked down, then get up and begin a new day,

After pausing, then kneeling, then beginning to pray. 

I want what they have! I need what they've got!

I'm not asking for a Kingdom in Heaven, I'll settle for a cot. 

God, I want some peace and some purpose! I silently cried;

When suddenly, inside of me, a door opened wide. 

My head bowed as I stood, waiting to be chastened;

But to my surprise, what I received, was a realization. 

I needed to ask for help, if I was to ever be free;

I couldn't do it alone; just depending on me. 

But still I tried many times; I was Igor in his lab;

And the conclusions to my tests, always came up with ‘rehab.’ 

I finally gave up and surrendered, checked myself into detox;

Kicking the wall for three days, trying to get out of this box. 

I finally finished with detox, weak now as a kitten;

I thought, 'I'd once been a Lion, before being bitten by addiction. 

Now meeting counselors and clients, all the faces are new;

Then turning around & meeting myself, It's funny, but it’s true. 

And though I didn't like who I was, I offered to forgive;

It was necessary – what I needed – if I wanted to live. 

I didn’t use to feel good; but trying to not feel;

Now it was time to peel the layers, if I wanted to heal. 

And those voices in my head? My own little city?

They had a name in rehab – they were called 'the committee!' 

Everybody had them! They thrived on our self-pity;

Now I’m learning it was time – to evacuate the city! 

In a group I heard one guy share, and I heard him tell my life;

Down to losing the job, losing the house, even the car & wife. 

I’m learning to relax. To come to a consensus;

By finding God, cleaning house, & mending my own fences. 

"A hopeless dope addict," That had been my name;

And I used to wear it proudly; carried by my shame. 

But now like a horse running free, let out of its paddock;

I'm laughing and smiling – a dopeless hope addict! 


Charlie G 

1 Comment
  1. Sdstew 13 years ago

    Too wonderful Charlie, would you mind sending this on to a new member named Maz? She's got a niece in trouble and they are trying to find the "right place" for her rehab. Maybe you can give the aunt some insight eh?

    I'll get back to you soon, right now my kitty is trying to type and a g  making a mess of things.


    Peace and Love



    0 kudos

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