Most of my life I spend worrying, or obsessing. I worry over thought-up uncomfortable social situations that either happened, while most are thought-up, telling my self that I would be the center of all negative attention. The voices in my head give me only negative thoughts, as though they are handling me rocks to put in a satchel on my back that are getting heavier each time. Then, I say the same thought over and over in my head, going over the situation and what I could've done better. My body is aching and nearly on fire with the pain and ache of pure anxiety.This situation could've already partly happened; however most of the time I imagine and create a deadly social scenario where I am the center of it. All negative attention is on me. I walk most of my days with the thought in my head that people are only thinking negatively of me and are telling other people. (PTSD: happened before).

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I challened myself to think last night: what if I didn't go over and stick to such negative thinking? Althought it's obvious, how often do we really stop and catch ourselfs before going down that terrible path of negative self-talk? I told myself to focus on reality and that [they] had forgotten about the small social occurance earler. I also told myself that my intentions were good and I deserve positive thougths.Before I knew it, I felt better. That anxious ringing in my head wasn't as loud and I could see where I went wrong.

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Thougth: go positive. Try it for five minutes, chant a positive line over and over again to bring yourself back to reality. Maybe it will work one day and we will subconsciously do it. I want to be free of the iron, rusted chains, just like you. Less obsession, more living.

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#gottahavehope

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