Well I am in Manchester. But the holiday is not going so well for me. I can\’t relax. I have been wondering about how can I get through this.
So I have texted a friend in my ocd group in Ireland
Hi Sean. How is your weekend?
Guess I am writing because I am stressed over here. I am wearing the same clothes all the time and wondering if it is ok to do so. What I mean is I wear certain clothes indoors and walking trousers and a tracksuit top outdoor. The tracksuit top is bothering me. I am wearing it everywhere. In pubs restaurant\’s on the bus and train. And of course in busy areas people bump off me. I have 3 other jackets a rain windsheeter and a lovely one. But I am stuck in the tracksuit top. I was carrying my good jacket yesterday and I thought that the sleeve minght the touched the ground while I was going down a stairwell. So now I cannot wear it. This trip is more stressful than I expected it would be. You don\’t let these things bother you. So I am wondering how it doesn\’t bother you. Any advice.
I have never had any CBT. But this feels like I think that it would be like. Has anyone else been away and I am situation like this. How have you coped.
I worry about contamination from what could go on my clothes when I am out. I try not to touch any thing. I try to make sure no one touches off me.
In a bar last night for a meal I took ages to relax. I was so on edge getting there but once there I was desperate to wash my hands before eating. Once the meal was finished I relaxed.
Back at my relatives place I immediately changed. Watched tv and went to bed.
Back to having sleepless nights. Waking up in a pool of sweat every half hour or so. The hour was to go back. But would the clock on my phone change. But the major issue what would I wear. I think that it would be easier if I didn’t have spare clothes with me but of course I do.
What disturbs me the most is my relatives don’t have any concerns about contamination or gems at all. My cousin can do very little for himself
I can do anything. So why can’t I beat this. I wonder if I will end up in hospital.