So life has been funny lately. Lots of stuff changing.
Thursday I thought was going to send me into a tail spin of emotions and anger. Mostly resentment. James (my boyfriend) came home with a motorcycle. Not just a motorcycle, but a crotch rocket (what my friends call them). I was really angry that he didn't tell me he bought it and just kinda showed up *SURPRISE* Uhhh. I talked to my mom though and she worked me through it and told me "Kristen, James has never stopped you from doing anything you wanted to do and you need to allow him the same. If you stand in his way or act out in anger he will only resent you in the end. Be patient, you don't have to like it but this is his decision and his money so you must let him live his life." The worst part was I knew she was right.
So I told James if he was patient with me and getting moody about it here and there then I would be patient with him and his decision.
Monday, my best friend Kat came over and apparently she is pregnant. She took 2 tests with me but they were inconclusive. However, later on that afternoon, another friend bought her a very sophisticated pregnancy test that in big bold letters said your "PREGNANT". I am still pressuring her to take a test RIGHT when she wakes up because I know that the first urination of the morning has the most amount of pregnancy hormones. She refuses. I almost think she wants to be pregnant, but is scared to death to tell her mother. She is 22, hasn't finished school, and still works at her first job pretty much. Her mother has always told her if she gets pregnant that she would want her to give it up for adoption. I know that both Kat and her boyfriend would NEVER allow for that to happen. I just hope he takes care of her the way he is promising. I also hope she is not getting her hopes up about being pregnant just to find out she may have had a false positive. I worry about her a lot. I love that girl to death. If she does have a baby, I am going to be a God Mother.
My mother has always been supportive if something happens and I need to take a pregnancy test. She would very much like me to wait until I am ready to have a baby but knows that I am in a serious relationship…and is usually the first person I call when my cycle is not working out the way it should. She knows that there are ways to go to school when pregnant and to make it work out and does not believe in abortion (in most cases) and would hate to see Kat have to give her baby away.
Last night I didn't sleep well. One of the first nights I didn't take sleep aids. Woke up 3 or 4 times from horrible nightmares and drenched in sweat. Im wondering if it has to do with my ADs or the absence of the sleep aids?
Also, I get to schedule a colonoscopy for this upcoming week. Yay :(. At least all my blood tests came back fine! Wish me luck!