I just cant shake this yuckiness. I just want to cry today. I had a horrible day yesterday with the kids. my son does NOT listen at all and I really lost it on him. I try so hard, but when he constantly smart mouths me I totally lose it. I told him some really bad things like "mommy wants to leave because of him" and mommy doesnt like him right now." I think I also threw in a "shut the fuck up". I'm such a  bad mommy. I can stay calm, but only for so long. I give him so many chances and when he doesnt listen I lose it. He didnt want to go down the hall alone to take his shower. I said that i would come with him until he was 'in' like I always do. That wasnt good enough for him. We argued for an hour! I even went down there and instead of getting in, he just argued with me. In the end I sat on the couch covering my ears so I couldnt hear him saying "I want someone down there" over and over and over…..

Why is so easy to  fall down in this hole and so damn hard to get out?  I am in tears over the dumbest shit today. I actually cried when i realized that hubby ruined a fave pair of my pants. They have two HUGE ink spots from being washed with a pen.  They now match a pair of my daughters. Guess my pants were in the same load as hers. GRRRRR 

I wish I could just crawl back into bed, but I have to take my daughter to school and then pick up both kids. *sigh* At least hubby will be home early and maybe I can lay down then.