Nature has a way of compensating for weaknesses, which is why addicts have big mouths.
Some recovering addicts go through life standing at the complaint counter.
I try to take one day at a time, but lately several days have attacked me at once.
When you kill time, remember that it has no resurrection.
Life is like wrestling a gorilla. You don't stop when you get tired; you stop when the gorilla gets tired.
I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking too good either.
I always wanted to be somebody, but I should have been more specific.
You may be an addict if you decide to procrastinate but never get around to it.
I have a built-in forgetter.
My mind is like a Home Depot store. Everything's in there, I just can't find it.
My family is a riot. In fact, they put the "fun" in dysfunctional
Lead us not into temptation. I can find it myself.
A treatment centre is where you go and pay $15,000 to find out that N.A. meetings are free.
Ask an addict what time it is and he'll tell you how to build a clock.
There's nothing like the prospect of a hanging to focus a man's mind.
I believe sometimes God will not do for me what I can do for myself.
Please be patient — God isn't finished with me yet.
I am unique, just like everybody else.
Drugs are for people who can't handle reality.
Why is it when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us, we're schizophrenic?
My best friend became my worst enemy.
If you keep one foot in yesterday and one foot in tomorrow, you're just pissing all over today.
When my insides match my outside, I'm practicing a good program.
My firstwas "Howard," as in "Our Father, who art in Heaven, Howard be thy name."
Chairperson at meeting asks: "Anybody from out of town? Out of state? Out of their minds?"
A winner is a loser who keeps trying.
I don't always know what God's will is for me, but I always know what it's not.
I didn't get clean to be miserable.
I didn't experiment with alcohol and drugs. I was in advanced research and development.
Are you walking towards a drug or away from one?
Got diarrhea? Try willpower.
Yeah, I guess I used to suppress my emotions. Every time someone asked, "How ya doin'?" I'd reply, "I'll get back to you as soon as I find out."
My sponsor tells me I'm making progress. Before I used to think suicide. Now I'm thinking homicide.
Relationships will do to you what drugs couldn't.
I was the most even-tempered guy in the world — I was mad all the time.
If you don't deal with your feelings, they'll deal with you.
Overhead in an Nar-Anon meeting: My husband's right where he needs to be. He's in prison.
Sponsor to pigeon: I love you, God loves you, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it.
I had three sponsors: HBO,and Showtime.
I did my using from Park Avenue to.
Why did I start going to N.A. meetings? In rehab all they had was decaf. At N.A., I could drink regular coffee.
On relapse: when you get run over by a train, which kills you, the locomotive or the caboose?
Sponsor to new pigeon: Please don't go in your head alone. It's a dangerous neighbourhood.
I don't need to beat myself up. There are enough people willing to do it for me.
The reason I got my last DUI was I ran out of gas. Although the needle on the gas gauge pointed to E, the needle on the denial gauge was pointing to F.
If you think it's lonely at the top, it's not too much better at the bottom.
If your ass falls off, put it in a paper bag and take it to a meeting.
There's safety in numbers, one through twelve.
An ounce of prevention is worth a gallon of relapse.
My disease is out in the parking lot, doing push up's getting stronger–just waiting for me to slip.
For me, my worst day clean is not better than my best day using. But my worst day using is better than my last day high.
If you have two addictions, throw two bucks in the basket.
Without getting spiritual, I am a Christian.
Before, it was so many women, so little time. Now, it's so many character defects, so little time.
If my brain didn't need me for transportation, it would have killed me a long time ago.
What colour is a chameleon on a mirror
When I start wondering if everything's okay, it's probably not.
If hanging around N.A. doesn't work, try hanging out inside N.A.
If you really want to stay clean, you will find a way. If not, you will find an excuse.
God grant me patience. Right now.
Following the collapse of a member's chair at a meeting: Hi, my name is Bob, and I'm powerless over gravity…
My sponsor says I'm trying. Very trying.
Shared by fiftyish N.A. member: I saw this was a teen meeting, and I figured I was emotionally ready.
Gossip, rumours, backbiting, loose tongues, verbal altercations: sometimes N.A. meetings are like the corner bar, without the alcohol.
Try our "20/20 Vision Plan." Come 20 minutes before the meeting, stay 20 minutes after, and see if you can't connect with some people with clean time.
HALT KISS & TELL: If you're hungry, eat. If you're angry, dump it at a meeting. If you're lonely, go to a meeting. If you're tired, sleep.
If you like everyone in, you're not going to enough meetings.
"To Employers": My boss is an ADDICT and an asshole. I'm self-employed.
Don't try to clear away the wreckage of the future.
My brain said more, but my body said enough!
When the student is ready, the teacher appears.
These guys offered me steps. I needed a ladder to get out of hell.
I moved myself between a dog and a fire hydrant.
My name is Steve, and I'm an addict. The topic is humility? I'll pass….
A relentless bastard has been torturing me, and that bastard is Me!
Life started when I stopped.
It takes time to get your brains out of hock.
Bring the body to N.A. and the mind eventually follows.
My sense of reality has calluses. Insanity is normal for me.
When I was drinking and drugging, I didn't know the difference between sandpaper and toilet paper.
In N.A., stand by the coffee pots. It's a good way to meet people.
Today, fear alone won't keep me clean, but for a newcomer, it's not a bad place to start.
Today there's still a monkey on my back. He's just sleeping, and real easy to wake up.
Addicts are in a class by themselves. Everyone else has graduated.
My ex-wife holds me responsible for most of our marital problems. Proves how much she knows–I was never home.
An addict is a man who is a legend in his own mind.
The position for the God job was filled a long time ago.
Addicts end up in one of three houses: the Big House, the Bug House, or the Ice House.
The people I have in my life today are merely on loan from my Higher Power.
Short version of the Serenity Prayer: "Lighten up."
At the start of meetings we always ask, "Is there anybody new or coming back?" We should also ask, "Is there anybody old and going out?"
If I'm not aware of my character defects, they don't count.
If you live on the edge of the program, you might fall off
I had a vision problem–I couldn't see going to meetings.
I was a victim of my biggest character defect: self-pity
As a sales and marketing man, I started looking for the loopholes in the program. I especially liked the part that said, "We are not saints…
Changing from heroin to alcohol was like switching deck chairs on the Titanic.
When I came into this program, I was sued, reused and pursued.
Stay on the tracks when the train is coming, and you will get flattened.
Once you pick up a drug, the steps are totally bewildering.
Certain addicts non-stop talkers can be a constant source of earitation at meetings.
Remember we're all in the biggest room of them all. The room for improvement…
something you might want to share with your fellow addicts. i have posted this before but like to post it again for those who have not had the chance to read it.