Your nurse isn't qualified for this. She can't undertake this alone, and you can't be guided by someone who virtually has no control over what you do. I hate to pressure you to go back to the hospital, I know that you felt it hindered you and made everything worse, and in a lot of ways I understand that. I remember the time I spent as inpatient, and for me it was healing as it allowed me to separate from the present, and to deal with everyone face on. It puts you in the position where you can't avoid it, but the problem I see with that environment is that it isn't the real world. I remember being discharged and I wasn't even out of the car, and something happened to have me feeling the same way again. It allows you to find methods of control, it lets you see from so many angles and perspectives what your problems truly are but you can't overcome them in a hospital, the trick is going outside and taking it home with you. So I see the advantages of it, and I see the flaws, and I can't – remembering your time there and my own – I can't force this on you. I can't see you go through that again, but I do want you to have more help than what's there right now, and I know it doesn't have to lead to inpatient. I don't know what to do. I feel so hopeless in all of this. There is nothing I haven't said to make you feel comfortable, to show you I love you no matter what, but none of it is helping. I'm still unsure if what I'm doing is right. Maybe you need someone more forceful on this, a girl who won't so much as take your hand through it but drag you out. I have no idea. I don't know what to do, but I have a feeling that I'm not enough right now.
Photon Torpedos
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no place is home
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