I've been doing my lil bipolar dance for the past 15years and it has it ups and downs mostly I handel it rather well…. I live in the Midwest its cold and my body seems to have taken a dislike to the cold to the point it freaks out I've been to countless doctors nothing seems to dull the pain of get me closer to an answer.

I'm left with friends in the real world who don't understand my depression, that it can be hard to get out of bed or do anything normal. They love the Manic Leslie the funny Leslie, but I'm not that girl I never have been. I am funny and smart but thats such a small part of it.

I'm much more your deep thinker, your movie buff, the girl putting together youtube clips and making dvd's to clean the house or to give as gifts. I'm not the clown I hate clown so why do they want me to be one?

Then we I become depressed and notice I speaked a shower instead of talking to me about my depression she asks facebook how to nicely adresss the issue, and I go to task and bring up the fact that the person might be depressed in these hard times that we're facing in America and Money issues and it would be kindest to leave it alone ten to one, or ask how to help the depressed person.

I got jumped on by all her well to do friends in the burbs, they must not have depression or money issues..cuz I know I've times where getting to the laundry mat is just to much on my depressed day and being on disablity the choice between lights and fabreezed jeans is simple.

after the jump down I made a long commment back and an odd sorry we're being selfish and its all about thanksgiving, so it must of been me by that responce ….so I didn't spend thanksgiving by them it would of been to odd, besides I just told them I have cushings a brain tumor and they yet to even call. I got a text back the day I told them but that was it.

also on Thanksgiving I found out a Tori AMos fan had passed away and it threw my own health issues into my face, I hit a deeper depression, I texted my friend his text back maybe you need a new group ..maybe he's right one that doesn't have him or his wife climbing the burbs socially calernder.

2 Comments
  1. kaykay 9 years ago

    About the cold thing..I have the same problem, indiana is not nice to my body. My depression gets worse & I get sickly skinny, and my body hurts all the time. I found if I go to the tanning bed helps, it has something to do with the lack of sun. The doctors told me I was fine too, but I was still miserable.

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  2. torishy 9 years ago

     huh something to think about as they said my vit. D was way low but i can't doing tan i'm 25 percent tattoo's and fading tattoo's are just bad, so is my cold issue, I'm glad you found something that works for you, the running thought is cushing but it doesn't explain the cold thing … its always something 

    enjoy the tanning bed, feel better 

    ~tori shy 

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