I honestly don’t know what to write but I just felt like I needed to get something out in some way, shape or form.
No real updates on my end. After a lot of back and forth calls I was finally put on a 3 month waiting list for an OCD program.
It costs $5,2500.00 for three weeks, outpatient.
I have $400.00 in my checking account so the help I need is only at a cost.
My sister’s wedding is in October and it’s 4 hours away from where I am. I tried to do ERP for the highway and it started off okay but I had a panic attack on Tuesday and have just been hit with a setback.
It’s the feeling of being on a ride that you can’t get off of. It’s that neverending lose of control. I think “I’m trapped in a car and I’m trapped on a highway.”
My thoughts are horrible and I have to hold onto the door and I honestly felt like pulling the emergency brake. It was such a scary intrusive thought.
I just wanted the pain to stop.
So now my parents are talking about having someone babysit me.
I’m 32 and feel so ashamed and embarassed about 1.) missing my sisters wedding and 2.) having to be babysat
I sit in my bed and think “How did my life become this?”
I’m trying so incredibly hard not to be negative about this. To look at it logically. I know that thinking positively and aiming for success is what is key. But I’m also in withdrawal and it feels like it’s twice as hard to do.
This Luvox has been nothing but a nightmare for me from day 1. I have talked to people who love it and I’m so glad it works for them but I can’t work with the side effects. Especially the insomnia and dry mouth.
I was on 125mg and then 100mg to 75mg and now I’m at 62.5mg.
I have no motivation to do anything and I feel like just breaking down. I’m trying to listen to really happy, upbeat music.
I think I may up my Depakote because I’m just so sad.
I hope that wherever you are in your life and in your day that you are doing well.
M
Related Articles
-
How to manage
crysrb, , Uncategorized, Anxiety, Depression, Weight Loss, 1
I just wish I could be normal or at least a version of myself that did not have such...
-
-
Sunny 😎 Sunday
Lacey7, , Uncategorized, Career, Divorce, Sleep Disorders, 0
The weather was amazing today! I walked the dogs for a mile It was nice to be able to...
-
What to write whe n in an illegali sed prison before you get your only sensory form of communication took off you (your phone and internet)).
AloneForever, , Uncategorized, Career, Weight Loss, 2
Some writies about human rights and what i want the NHS to do: I want all exits and entrances...
-
quote of the day pt 2
zander2024, , Uncategorized, 0
The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing. -Walt Disney
-
To Not Dear Mil
Lacey7, , Uncategorized, Relationships, 2
You are going to have a major surgery tomorrow morning. I will not be thinking kindly of you doing...
-
Life has been hard
LonelyandLost, , Uncategorized, Child, PTSD, Relationships, Sleep Disorders, Stress, Suicide, Therapy, 0
Life has been rough lately. I am in graduate school, have been working on a COVID unit, and recently...
-
Fuck School
treegirl213, , Anxiety, Depression, Teens, Uncategorized, ADHD, Anxiety, Questions, Schizophrenia, Sleep Disorders, Social Anxiety, Therapy, 2
It’s happening all over again. I thought High school would be different but nope, it’s worse. I’m not talking...
0 Comments