My bf and I recently broke up because of differing views on communication. I always assumed that we'd grow as a couple and plan to move in together in the future, and recently found that he never had any intention of that. Since then I've started a new job, that is working me many many hrs and he hates that because now we dont get to talk to eachother as much. I thought i'd use the money i earned for future for us to be able to be together not via phone and internet but when he told me he has no interest in that, i've decided that I'm gonna have to get my independent woman on, and do for myself. I always imagined we'd do it together but now I have to work twice as hard to save for my future, plus save for plane tickets every month because he doesnt want us to live together.The reason we broke up, is because he finally seen how much his actions were dragging me down and made a hasty decision to end it for my better intrest.

Now he wants me back, yet he just wants to get back together and not fix the problem we broke up over to begin with. And if we dont, he doesnt even want to be friends anymore. Were soo close and I miss him and I love him so much, but if i get back with him without anything being fixed, its just gonna linger from here on out. What do you do to hold an LDR together, if the other person refuses to do anything to close the distance? flying is going to get really expensive, I never knew that he intended on us never moving closer, if i had i would have spared my heart. but now thats not an option, can anyone give me any advice what to do here, because this is tearing me apart

1 Comment
  1. hatchedbird 12 years ago

    Hi there. I too am in a long distance relationship, with someone I feel incredibly close to even though we aren't always physically close, and relationships like that can be difficult. I understand what you mean about wanting to be closer. I have to hold onto the idea that someday our circumstances will be different, in my own relationship, so for your bf to say, he is not interested in that, can be percieved as hurtful.

    I agree with the other people who commented. I think he is afraid, and because of that, being inflexible. You can't control how someone else reacts. And you must be strong enough to do what is best for you. I think if you feel like this person really is best for you, then the only thing to do is try to get through to him how you feel. That is all you can do. In any relationship, two people have to do the work and meet halfway. You can only do your share.

    Whatever happens, believe that you have the strength to get through it! It seems like you are doing a lot of growing all on your own, you should be proud. 🙂

    ~peace

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