try round my life off to a short blog wen i was 10 my dad used to cum to ares every week end and coz he said he cud only get work in londonplus he wudrow with my mum and insult al of us plus i notic my mum was unwell with anxity badly age 11-12 my mum found out that my dad was cheating 4 9 years behind her bk my mums anxity got worse and she had bring 5 kids up on her own i was able to stay at my dads new girl friends house why there there was sum girl callinhim dad the girl frends dughter not realy her dad but i was confusing i was 12 and never met her and she calling my dad dad then i met her son who got me in to drugs pot mainly but i had sum es at 13 and cocain i cant berleave they let mre do that at the time i did not understand what these drugs cn do to u 14 15 by this time my mum was realy bad and every one had moved out myolder bros and sis just me and my younger sis was left and the house was a realy bad way she was so bad that she wud not let people in to check meters and stuff the hot water broke and we cud not barth coz this and we had go school smelling and then the washing merchine broke it used to leak water all over the place and not spine the cloths and from 13 i was smoking pot healy every day almost i think to deal with all the shit not sure why then i was badly berhaved and move out with my dad who just bin kicked out and broke up with his girl friend we moved in to a hostal a homeless places lots went on there beteen my dad and me did not realy no him that well and this places was full of drugys smak head drunks this was wen i ws 15 and coz i moved i did not no were to get pot from so i was strulging and my dad did not no i smoked baky i was scared to tell him so neverbut i soon found a serpler bloke call crisis who was a skitso on meds 4 it. i thoght this was a new start at lest i cud shower and i stared a new school did not want to go to main stream so i ended up going to stundent serport center in cambridge i loved this school well went boxing lessions at agym 4 free wight trianning 4 free i was buff after 6 months i was really confident 4 the frist time and girls were likeing me 4 the first time it was a high in my life then school finished and me and me dad were offerd a house in camborune cambridge we took it well did not have a chocs i met my girl friend there the first girl i met feel in love with still with her now this was wen i was 16 17 smoked a lot of pot as always my dad met a woman call sue and was trying to kick me out all the time all of a sunden after a wile he kick me out 4 real went to live in my gf house with her family her dad did not like me lol nore did any of her family i got her pregnt i was really happy she was to but every one else was not she got to 29 weeks pregnt and her waters broke i worryed she went to hosbital she was there 4 a week she had a water infecshion then my baby boy jacob was born 3 months elary this was realy worrying he was so small and they took him stright in to the specal babyy unit we were not alowed to stay over nyt so we went there every day to c him he was doing really well but after 2 months we got a call in the morning asking us if they cud operate coz he had sum thing wrong with hes bowels so i sed yes stirght away and wen we got there he was laying ther help less we sore him go in to the operate room and waited they came bk with bad news said it was best to turn off the surport merchine i was crying so much this lasted the whole day it was the worsed time in my life we wanted to had to as parents sit in a room with him and they passed him to me we whached him diy 4 hours and they keept giving him this drug to to help with the pain .he kept weaking up a bit and he look confused it was so bad im gone have to stop there coz im cry now he diy that nyt and was taken away by a nurse and that was it cud not beleave that happend to him he was just a baby 2months old whyy i ask my slef all the time and after that i used more drugs and my gf got pregnt agen a year later and we got kicck out lived with a mate then got kicked out went bk to the home less place and nw we got are own place in bury st eds i stop all drugs befor my dughter was born and now i have gad have had it ever since just befor she was born wen i gav up the drugs now i just smoke backy she 1 years old noe and the best thing that iv got plus my gf but now i got this hanging over my head making my life worse let me no what you think of my life