The weekend is OVER! Most of you are sad, but I am happy b/c it;s the most hectic for me at work. I kept myself busy working a lot this weekend, and relaxing when I get home. I even went out on a limb and had a "Girls night" tonight. It was fun. It Definetly kept my mind off of my break-up and all the drama that goes on with it. I kept feeling a panic attack wanting to come out of me a few times while hanging with the girls. It started while driving there..I think mainly b/c it was way out in the country, and it bothered me not knowing where the hell I was and I kept thinking "OMG, what if I need a hospital, and I die before we make it there b/c it's so far away" I know, LAME!! I also felt a little panic while we all were talking in the hot tub having out cocktails. It just feels crazy b/c all the drama I had to do with my ex was exactly ONE week ago. Like I said before, it feels like a tsunami hit my life in the matter of seconds. BOOM! Relationship over, and he goes to jail for putting his hands on me. He called me Saturday and was all apologetic, and I let it go in one ear and out the other. Now that it's approaching 4am in the morning, and once again, I cant sleep, and I am here with just my thoughts, and my 2 cats. I'm just starting to miss him again. I miss him next to me in bed, I miss him watching tv with me ect ect. But, there is A LOT more I don't miss than do. I went out w/ a guy Sunday afternoon for a couple hours. He lives next to my building in the same apartment complex. He's real funny, and kind, …but, I am in NO WAY ready to date again. I just wanted to vent to somebody. I'm tired of panic attacks sneaking their way into me. My life is just turned upside down right now, and I'm trying to find all the pieces. Take care my tribe friends~!!!

  1. crysrb 9 years ago

    Stay strong, I know break ups are hard but you will be healthier, stronger, and happier in the end

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  2. gomizzou 9 years ago

    Hey there JRS–nothing “lame” at all about how you were feeling–par for the course for people who have to deal with anxiety/panic attacks. I'm sure it's difficult, and I can't say that I have read your blogs leading up to this one which might have provided more info on the situation, but it sounds to me like it's for the best that your relationship with your ex is over. Easy for me to say from here, I know. 🙁
    Anyway–hang in there and be well my friend. 🙂

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