I'm so excited! I'm definitely taking the holidays back. I spent them, last year, in a rehab live-in facility and I think it gave me the chance to experience this time of year with some much needed distance. It's not that I want absolutely nothing to do with my family members but I'm tired of the pressure the family dinners and stays bring. You never know who is going to act out, say something hurtful or stick you in a compromising spot. I can't relax in them. There's always a sense of danger. This year, I'm taking my joy back! I will be visiting and staying with a friend, up North, for Thanksgiving, and for Xmas I will ask the fam that wants to come see me to travel to me for a day and that's that. Quick hello, here's your presents, I love you, and goodbye. I'm tired of going to everyone, accomodating everything, and always ending up with some unwanted scars for the show. Enough! I used to LOVE Xmas. I have never cooked for Thanksgiving. I want to cook for my friend, surprise her and enjoy our time. I want to be as excited as I was for Santa when I was a kid but just for being Christmassy and all that nice stuff. It's not even about the presents (although I will make sure to spend for some on me) but the parks, the rides, the cold, the vibe, enjoyable all bundled-up and with some hot cocoa or coffee. Staying over at friend's and such, watchings movies. Really celebrating being grateful without that terrible, usually-accompanying, marring anxiety! So yes. This is it. The beginning of my adut holiday life. No longer at the mercy of everyone else's expectations. If they get to have me, for whatever time, they should be grateful. Other than that, I refuse to let anyone make me feel guilty for not fitting into their box! Here's to a thicker skin! Here's to some Happy Holidays ;)! How do you tend to deal with the holidays and what are your plans for this year?

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