Sometimes I still feel like the scared thirteen year old obsessing about suicide and cutting. I don’t know where to start in order to put my life back together. I guess having will power would be a good start. I don’t have any and haven’t felt like I’ve had any for awhile.
I think I write stories to fix what I’ve felt has gone wrong or to give a character something I felt I haven’t had. They deal with strife but I am able to create an end to their road and turn it into a happy ending. Why can’t I do the same with my life?
Yes it was a bit of a surprise to hear my grandmother say she wanted to end her life but I can see why she says it! The world is so f*cked up.
I look back and see some of my entries change topics often. I guess I vent on all topics running through my head and things that happen as I write these.
My brother just came home, it was his last day of school, and he was telling me about this kid who is a complete a**. I knew the kid when I went to the school. I thought he was an a** and I was the quiet, introverted geek. I worry about my brother. He just told me that same kid came to a friend’s house when he was there…I worry the kid might try something. He’s my younger brother, I guess it’s the normal older sibling protective thing. I hope if the kid does try something, my brother can at least defend himself. I just told him the human mouth is one of the dirtiest things in the world lol, that would be interesting.
Anyway, I think my little dark patch cleared up for awhile.