I met this guy on a dating app and I have written about him several times now. About a week into talking to him I had a mental breakdown. It had nothing to do with him and I tried to protect him from it. My behavior toward him was really erratic and strange so a couple days later I admitted to him that I had called a suicide help line. I feel like that was a mistake because I guess in the past he was with a girl who would threaten to kill herself and used that as a weapon against him, a means to control him I guess. I have tried explaining to him over and over that I would never do that but I feel like there is a huge rift. He was always busy but now he doesn’t call. I am lucky to get a few lines of text at the end of the day. I feel like he is only keeping in contact through a sense of obligation. It is all speculation though.
I sent him a text tonight saying that I feel like I am being punished for something I didn’t do and that I am sorry that I reminded him of a traumatic time in his life. I just feel like its fubar though. I don’t sense any real interest from him anymore.
I am an overthinker so I was mentally prepared for this to end long ago, but I still feel mournful about it. Chances are he will text me and tell me everything is ok and he is just busy. Is he though? ALWAYS busy? I know its cliché but theres the saying that someone who wants you will make time for you.
The lack of communication is making me extra crazy.