So I’ve been going through a lot of bull in my life and slowly I am losing who I used to be. I say this because the man who is standing by my side who feel in love with my joy and hopefulness for a better day, probably loves me differently now.

Dont get me wrong he didn’t cheat on me thank god but he loves me stronger through the pain I go through daily. Behind me there will always be a warm hug to run into, and though arms were always his.

yes I can say I am blessed to have should a wonderful man in my life. I thank god everyday. He was so great he wants a family with me. A life with me and to grow old; but he wanted to wait longer than is normal for him and I asked ‘why do you want to wait 2-3 more years? We’ve been together for 3 years already?’ He said bc I want to b fincually free with his business (as u can see we are both business start up). This man has a habit of making a goal then letting it b kicked around but his dream is to start a family as soon as possible so the family grows faster.

yesterday I found out we had maybe 3 miscarriages. I was upset bc I blame myself for not caring for my body enough but, I knew I can never carry a child in me for so long. When we first met I spoke to him about me might not being able to carry and he was crushed but thought I was just joking. So now he knows as a fact, I will most likely not b able to carry even one baby through 9 months.

The look he had on his face, the disappointment the distance he drew. He loved me different by saying let’s pause everything else n forces on our businesses now. Even pause the thought of ever getting married soon.

So this is his way in my eye

of being so unjust and my thoughts justifing him

 

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