I wish I could say I’ve always known I wasn’t straight, but I can’t. I’ve been trying to convince myself that I was straight and cis for so long, but I don’t think I’m cis, and I’m most certainly not straight. It’s not that my parents aren’t accepting, in fact, they’ve voiced several times that they are fine w/ us (myself and my siblings), no matter our sexuality of gender identity. My older brother, however, is a far-right conservative asshole, who constantly belittles me, and makes me feel like crap. I don’t like saying that, because it sounds like I’m trying to compare my struggles to those of people who have experienced much more horrible,  awful suffering, and I don’t want to do that. But he makes comments that he claims aren’t transphobic, or aren’t homophobic, but they are. They always are.

Anyways, I’m currently questioning my gender. I was born female, but lately, I’ve been really doubting that I am. I think I’m a boy. I don’t know though, because I do have friends who have been medically diagnosed with gender dysphoria, and are definitely trans (For the record, I have not been to a gender therapist, nor am I going to be able to anytime soon), and the conflicts I’m feeling is not the same as theirs. I’m really scared that I’m not trans, but I’m romanticizing the idea, and I really, really don’t want that to be the case, because people who romanticize the trans community are harmful, and I never want to be like that. Anyways, if anyone as any advice on knowing if one is trans, please let me know, tit would really help me out a lot.