I miss my husband. I love my job, but having to stay away from him for 48 hours or more at a time is really hard on me.
I work at an adult foster care home, which is a surprisingly great fit for me. This job is very challenging and demanding at times, but also very rewarding. I feel fortunate for being able to call my clients my friends, as well. Also, well. I dunno how or why, but no matter what other stuff is going on with my mood or my body or my mind, the moment I get to work, I go into momma mode and forget about all of that. It's really really really fantastic that I can even do that. I have hope because of that.
But the overnight part really sucks. I have always had trouble with sleep, either getting way too little or way too much, and my husband is the only remedy I have found. (Which is problematic in a few different ways, but I will save that for another day) I cannot stand to sleep without him. I hate to go even one eight hour shift without him. And this job has some huuuuge shifts. I work every other weekend straight from Friday afternoon to Sunday evening. It gets exhausting, and by 5pm on Sunday, all I want to do is curl up with my husband and go to sleep.
I really want to talk to my boss about it, especially since I've been on this schedule for a year now. But I am scared that the only thing that makes me a valuable employee is my willingness to stay for the whole weekend. I don't know… The clear-headed voice in the back of my head keeps reminding me that I am in fact a good employee with or without that willingness, but god, the thought of losing my job is so terrifying.
I suppose that we get what we put up with.