I am just starting to blog so that I can write out my frustrations and successes and maybe not bore my husband and family so much. My background is that I got OCD after the birth of my first child 14 months ago surrounding contamination and germs. It was really bad with swine flu, a rotten can of food in my kitchen that I garburated and the passing of my mother in law who spent much time in hospitals, quarantine units, etc. I believe that my house is contaminated with the rotten food and have not eaten in my house since last august. I also believe it is on the floors and do not touch them or anything else that touches them. I am not concerned for myself but keeping myself clean so that baby is not harmed. 

First off, I wake up and it is raining. I hate the rain. It takes the germs and scary stuff from the outside of my clothes and soaks them through to my body on the inside of my clothes. It also takes the dirt off of my car and runs it into my door handles that I can't avoid using.

Here is what my day looked like today.  I try to see the humor in it.

Wake up as per usual and am feeding my daughter her yogurt for breakfast ( from a box within the fridge). The doorbell rings which I always dread because no one has been in my house since this started. I answer the door and there is the mailman with his hand extended out to me…. AAARRRGGGHH. Now you have to know that I am terrified of the mail as my husband has sent mail out to people and he is contaminated. THose people in turn get his mail and then send it back which means that it is now in my mailbox. Also know that our mailman doesn't deliver to our house. We have a supermailbox across the street which I usually tackle with gloves late at night. I caught him last week because I inadvertently threw out our mail key in one of my panic cleans. I took the mail from him directly that day ( with a glove). So here he is at my door handing me my mail saying he noticed that I still didn't have my key and thought he would walk it over. THANKS…I think. As I stand in the door with baby in one hand and contaminated mail in the other.AAARRRGGGH. Also know that I believe that bleach is the only thing that kills what I am scared of so it is not just a simple matter of washing my hands. Then panic sets in that he touched my door and my doorbell and where did he knock and the whole door has to be cleaned. Only later does it dawn on me that not only did he contaminate my door but the door contaminated him so now I have to worry about the mail even more before.

Lunch out and at the botttom of the take out bag is a little blue package and I look at it and it is fruit snacks that come with the kids meal. I read the ingredients as I always do and see that the number one ingredient is corn syrup which they think carries botulism and I am terrified of that. Now i have to run to the bathroom and decontaminate all over again. I did however manage to feed the baby food out of the bag that it was in so that is a success.

Supper out and the baby is sitting and playing on the table waiting for food and she is just starting to learn how to walk so she stands up and is holding on to the rail. Then a kid decides to play with her on the other side of the railing where he is sitting on a very long bench. THen it dawns on me that this is the same rangy kid that I have been watching running through the whole restaurant, on his hands and knees ( ON THE FLOOR THAT I HAVE CONTAMINTATED WITH MY FEET FROM MY HOUSE) and he is running on the bench( THAT i HAVE TO SIT ON WHEN I GO) and now he is stopping and running his hands back and forth across the railing where my daughter is hanging on. AArrrgggh. Table change. Moved all of our stuff to another table where I tried to remain calm until I realize that we share a waitress and she is touching all their plates and then bringing us our food and refilling our drinks with her dirty hands. Aaarrggh. Don't know if I 'll eat there again now. Control you kids people. Don't you know I have OCD!!!!!!!

Eewww, yuck and more yuck. Anyways, that's my every day in a nutshell. I hate this darn disease. Change brain change. ….please.