Actually, I would put fearful and anxious in my mood if I could.

I joined this site to hopefully find people who feel the way I do – anxious, fearful about life, frustrated from trying to get ahead in the world, etc. I need to know I am not the only person in the world with these feelings. I hope that doesn't sound too negative. I am normally a VERY happy and funny person but Irecently lost my job, I'm a single father, I have very little friends in this small, redneck college town, I'm a short man(5'1") so no woman wants to touch me. I'm just plain lonely!

I say to myself it might have been a good thing I was let go from my former job. It was causing me tons of stress!! Plus, I barely saw my daughter due to the long hours I was forced to work. I do have another sales job lined up in a few weeks but that will be a last resort. I am taking a bartender corse next week, hoping to get someexperience bartending. I enjoy talking with people and people that I know tell me I have a greatpersonality so bartending would right up my alley.

I also plan to go back to school again(for the 50th time). I stopped going due to my former job. I just didn't have the time for both work and school,especially when you are working 12 hour days. It was crazy!!

Back to where I currently live, in a small city in South Carolina. I'll be nice and not name it because I do plan to say somehorrible things about it. Again, I'm not trying to benegative but it's the truth. It sucks living here!! All the people I know who have lived else where plan to or have moved away. I plan to also. There are NO jobs here, there are too many young people here so finding a woman my age in hard, the people(men and women) all have health issues. It looks the land of the zombies!! Being a small man does not help but being from the north REALLY doesn't help meeting women. It's like high school down here on a Saturday night.

Now, I'm sure you are asking – Why did I move there??! I know, I look like a fool but I promise you, it was not my fault. I was married for 16 years and lived on Long Island, NY. We could not afford a home on LI so we looked online for a place to buy. To make a long story short – we found a fixer upper and jobs in SC. I got her a job as a carpender(ourprofessions on LI); she cheated on me; gotpregnant; we divorced. I got custody of my daughter and our dog. That's all I wanted. She got the house. It's a money pit anyway.

Now, I am just waiting for my daughter to graduate so I leave this depressing place. In the mean time, I'm pulling the hair our of my head. I'm so depressed and anxious that I'm starting to drink more. I don't want that to happen. I just wish I could find someone I can share things with. It's been a rough 4 years! I'm ready for somerelief!!