i have realized that sometimes its best that God removes people from our lives. the people who i used to think cared about me and my current situation would understand when i don't want to do things. i dont have the energy or will to participate in things, and its been like this for years. i occassionally go out but i am talking about in spells, i mean like once every 5-9 months.what i am trying to say is don't pressure me into do things that don't feel like doing. thats why i dont date, yes i want the marriage and kids oneday, and i know the only way to get that is to put urself out there; but for hte end result is always the same, rejection or if i do start having feelings it usually only last no more than 3 months. since my last "relationship" and i put quotes around it to emphasize that it was never really a relationship, because i lost myself in a man that never loved me back, i turned against family, and though i didn't see it at the time, that was one of the best things God has ever done for me was to remove him from my life. since 2007 life has gotten worse, or atleast it seems so to me. i have dated low lifes that only wanted one thing which was sex..so thats why i am not putting myself out there to be hurt again..so what i am saying is when i am ready to date, go out, be happy for real, or just make friends let me do it when i am ready. i have been depressed for years, and i don't expect it to disappear overnight, it is gonna take small steps which is what i am doing now. thanks for listending DT family..love you gys