So, I'm really scared that I'm pregnant….

Basically to put a long story short me and my boyfriend have been together for about 2 years now, and I'm about 1-2 weeks late for my period. I've written earlier blogs about stomach cramps..

What blows my mind is that we have only had sex ONCE this month, and it was totally protected… It would be JUST MY LUCK that I would get pregnant from one time… I get nauseous all the time, but then again this could be from my anxiety.

I really hope that my period is just late from stress and anxiety, and maybe thats where the stomachaches are coming from.  Tomorrow morning I am taking a test (scared to death) and I will see the results.. I really hope that I am just overreacting because there is NO WAY I would be able to care for a child.  I can barely hold down a jobbecause it is too stressful. And tehre is no way in hell I would be able to get an abortion or adopt.  I'm also scared to death of hospitals, and when you are pregnant its like you basically live in one.  I know that when my kdi grows up hes going to miss out on so many things because "mommy cant go because of her panic attacks.." etc etc..  I would make such an awful motehr..  Not to mention I would gain a SHIT load of weight.. and it would be nearly impossible for my family to accept me.  Gah its all negatives..Not to mention my family has a bad history of getting morning sickness when they are pregnant.. I am so scared of vomiting, its been a fear of mine since I was a child.. ugh i would be such a mess.

This worrying about being pregnant has consumed my life for the past week, I constantly feel that the media is flooding me with information about pregnancy and children.  I went to my christmas family party and couldn't even hold a baby because I was so scared I was pregnant.

Well,  iwill post tomorrow and tell you all the results.. I will either be a crying mess or a happy relieved mess. 🙂  I suppose God knows what is best, and whatever is meant to happen will happen.