When I first went on this site, i was looking for help to better me for someone else. My boyfriend Alex was in the canadian reserves so he was busy all the time with trainging and practicing. I had someone seperation anxiety that i looked for advice in hope that others would agree maybe me and Alex should remain friends for the time being, so i can better myself and he can do what he loves. I told him what i wanted… what i thought would be best around febuary 15th. He refused, and claimed he'd drop out of the reserves just to be with me. i felt horrible and told him its not going to work out.. he needs to continue what he loved. he told me he loved me, and that he wouldnt know what to do without me. No matter what he said, i stuck to my gut and wanted to be friends. We hung out everyday after reserves and he'd bring me places to practice going out. He did this from the day we broke up, till my birthday on march 17. all march break we did whatever i wanted to do, for my birthday. we got a build a bear and named him Zander after Alexander. I remember arguing with him on how we would spell Zander. He said it was " xander " as i spelt it "zander", he was right. we also took my puppy to the beach just because i wanted too even though there was still ice on the ground. On my birthday him, my sister and I drove around all afternoon, and went out for sushi for dinner. when we were done we went back to my other mothers house for cake. by then it was about 9pm so i had him drop me off at my friends. after about 30 minutes, i recieved texts bugging me about dating. so i ignored him. then he pleaded to pick me up to talk. i rejected. I was home around 12, i had texted him and told him we would talk in person the next day, since we have plans everyday with eachother. i fell asleep and woke up around 1:45, with texts by him sent from 12:20-12:40am asking me if i was awake, and a text indiacated he was going to kill himself. it also said how much he loved me and how much he wanted me to be happy. i called the cops, his family members and friends. around 4 am i got ahold of Alexs brother and he told me he knows where alex is and that he was fine. i went to bed. When i woke up in the morning alexs cousin had messaged me and told me alex hung himself, i didnt believe her. but around 11am a detective called me, i didnt even say anything because i knew then and there it was true. that was about 4 months ago. and i still cry everyday with emotions i cant even describe. Ill post pictures of the tattoo i got for him and a pictures of me and him.

1 Comment
  1. Kimble 9 years ago

    Oh, I am so so sorry this happened to you.

    So so sorry.

    Yes, I agree with Omni, I hope you are seeing a therapist to help you thru this….

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